Wednesday, July 06, 2005

So much to bitch about, yet so little time...

A bitch is loving the rapid fire coverage going on in the news world! George Clooney got my ass all riled up this morning by pontificating on the Today Show about the G8 Summit. Georgie Boy (so close, yet not intimate) has clearly memorized his talking points, but this game will not be won by the pretty…

G8 in the Movies...
A bitch watched a fantabulous movie on HBO called The Girl in the Café. The plot centers on the G8 Summit and the Millennium Goals. This movie is a must see! If you don’t have cable or satellite, hook up with someone who does. There are moments of drama and fantastic questions in this movie. What are our goals and are we truly committed to reaching them? If we accept defeat before we sit down at the table, then how can we possibly succeed? A bitch was moved and challenged! 30,000 children die of poverty each day and people shouldn’t need a fucking G8 Summit to address it.

Forgive debt, stop supporting and creating puppet governments and increase trade while you increase aid. Or don’t. Just stop putting forth goals if you have not intention of working towards achieving them.

Moving on…

Culinary Diplomacy...
It seems that London is calling! A bitch was thrilled to hear the announcement that London will host the 2012 Olympic games. Not that my ass is interested in the Olympics. Honestly, a bitch finds the underscoring of the Chinese female gymnastic team unfair and intolerable! Those girls are flipping and twisting us off the mat and all we can say is that we doubt the age on their birth certificate. WHATever! It’s an even greater achievement if those bitches are 7. Add to that the scandal over the winter games and that whole pairs scoring fuck up and my ass is totally turned off.

But now there is London! What a fucking party! A bitch plans to be there with bells on. The appeal of a London Olympics was enhanced by the fact that my ass thinks London was awarded the games because a certain French President pissed off the Finns. Seems that certain folks think Finnish food is bad and said so while chatting with a certain Russian and a certain German. He also dissed British food. A bitch has never had Finnish food, but my ass did sample the dishes of London town. Suffice it to say my American pallet had a hard time adjusting. But, then again, my ass had a hard time fitting into those fucking skinny British jeans too. There must be something to all that tea drinking…

Anyhoo, two of the votes on the Olympic Committee were folks from Finland and a bitch thinks a dash of national food honor might have been at play. Paris was in the running up until this week. Sigh. It’s nice to know that we share the burden of a verbally unpredictable President with our French friends.

On a local note…
Missouri’s boy governor is in a bit of a pickle. Seems that the heifer he hired to bring big business back to Missouri has a criminal past…of theft and forgery! Duh, duh, duuuuh! Her conviction was uncovered several weeks ago, but Miss Thang wasn’t fired or put on leave until yesterday. And why was her criminal file sealed? Oh yeah, the shit is beginning to boil and it couldn't have happened to a bettter ass than our boy Blunt….

As Watergate taught us, it’s the cover-up that always comes back to bite you in the ass…

5 comments:

dmfinny said...

Like the schoolyard saying goes, don't let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash. On point, as usual.

Frankly, this New Yorker is glad we're not getting the Olympics. The streets of midtown are tough enough to navigate w/o adding a coupla thousand athletes and the thousands more lameoids who would come here to watch. And how would the city move elite athletes around? Plans to put them on the subway? MetroCards for everyone!

Poppymom said...

I'll gladly bring a bitch back some Finnish-American cuisine next time I visit my in-laws in Michigan. It'll make a bitch grateful for every tin of Heinz Baked Beans and spotted dick the Brits can throw at us.

jules said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jules said...

Duh.
What I ment to say was:
Yum, I have much love for Bill Nighy so I'll have to see The Girl in the Cafe once it comes out on Netflix cause HBO SUCKS and never has anything we want to watch except for Deadwood and no I don't need 10 HBO channels. A pox on HBO and it's mulitchannel packages.

There that's better.

Little Rock is still a backwater "city" and I still miss St. Louis and my old house by Tower Grove Park very much.

Jeff said...

Ooh, I love some scahden with my freude in the afternoon, and looks like I can count on Matty for a big heaping helping of it. Mmm, mmm, good. Give us some more, Matty!

My favorite part of the story? "Maryville University said Hayes was an adjunct professor in 2002, teaching one course about business law for a semester." Oh, I'm sure she knows *all* about the law!