Friday, July 15, 2005

It's Friday. Do you know where your submissive is...?

A bitch shot awake at 6:50 in the a.m. this morning. My ass has no idea what woke me up, but it must have been brutal!

1 cup of coffee, 4 teaspoons of Splenda, 2 dashes of organic 1% milk (yum!), 1 Claritin and 2 pseudo-Sudafed…

My ass must admit that I watched the Today Show with very little interest this morning. Usually, a bitch eagerly awaits the fuck-ups and incidents of bitchy attitude that is the Today Show. But a bitch learned that those fuckers have rebounded in the ratings. My concern is that my constant abuse of Katie and Matt has resulted in an increase in viewers…folks are tuning in just to see them act like asses!

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?

Anyhoo, something did jump out at this bitch while I guzzled coffee and popped pills…

Rove and Novak sitting in a tree…
This bitch is still holding out hope that the blood in the water will result in the ultimate removal of Karl Rove from public service. As my loyal readers know, Karl and I are beyond close. A bitch has been ritualistically beating Karl (trust me, he loves the pain) for well over a year. As his dominatrix, I’ve noticed that Karl has been getting rebellious lately. He no longer jumps when I say jump and what was once a two-hour foot bathing session has become a measly hour and a half! What the fuck?

Pause.

New readers should know that a bitch is referencing a reoccurring dream and these beatings in no way actually happen…unless dreams are reality and reality is just a dream…in which case my ass is as sick as a motherfucker…

A bitch just assumed that Karl needed more discipline, but now that the name leaking nonsense has been revealed my ass is beginning to question whether Karl is a submissive at all! Crafty little fuck. This bitch plans to switch from the paddle to the whip! We’ll see just how committed Mr. Rove is...

The media, still shocked to discover that they have new shiny journalism balls, has not tired of the Rovian feeding frenzy. Press briefings haven’t been this much fun since Monica’s amateur CSI-esque preservation of Presidential fluid leaked (pun intended) onto the scene! It’s brutal, but great fun.

At any rate, it now seems that Karl spoke to a lot of reporters. Cooper and Miller and even the Prince of Darkness himself! Wow!

So what happens now? Most likely nothing. Seems that Rove leaked the story to everyone and announced that Plame was fair game and so on. But, clever bastard that he is, Karl didn’t exactly “out” her…or did he?

Follow a bitch back to the recent outing of a certain Spokane mayor. See, “outing” is not new and has a long history that these prosecutors can reference. A good outing simply requires enough evidence to make denials worthless.

Note – Spokane mayor soliciting young, very young, frightfully young boy sex online made protests about his straightness seem …well…silly.

Note – Strom Thurmond being outed as a fucker of oppressed black maids by the public appearance of his unfortunate "love" child (Jesus, her ass took after her father…poor child) post mortem made his resume of questioning the mixing of the races seem like Massa in the morning ain’t nothing like Massa after midnight in the slave quarters. Freak.

Sigh.

The list goes on and on. Outing is a clearly defined thing. Given the evidence, Karl has been outed as a back stabbing, below the belt hitting, “yo’ momma dis tossing” protector of the party line that he is.

But is it a crime? That’s yet to be determined. Personally, a bitch has no doubt that Rove is the leaker and that he knowingly leaked Plame as a covert operative to Novak. I call upon the church to pray for the existence of a secret taping system. Pray, damn it! Pray!

This bitch wishes the media would cease tossing out dumb assed questions about who the leaker is. If you are really asking, then you’re a dumb ass. If you’re asking because you want to seem impartial, then you’re a dumb ass. Fuck it…you’re a dumb ass!

Shit. This bitch ain’t exactly complaining. My ass will take anything over the “who will Scooter select” Supreme Bore story.

Gives a bitch nightmares…

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