Friday, July 08, 2005

2 cubes ice, then shots of vodka followed by cran...

A bitch watched the coverage of the London attacks all... night... long.

My ass consumed a multitude of vodka crans, 6 pseudo-Sudafed and an unmentionable quantity of cigs…

Drunk, this bitch found the evolution of media coverage of the attacks fascinating!

It began when I stunned myself awake the evening before at 3:30am (a bitch has sleep issues) and turned on CNN to see coverage of an “incident”.

The incident became a probable attack. The probable attack morphed into a clear attack of unknown origin. The clear attack of unknown origin changed into an anti-Christian (all thanks due to the new Pope) atrocity. The anti-Christian atrocity morphed into a most-likely-not-the-work-of-the-IRA bombing. The MLNTWOTIRAB quickly evolved into the work of Islamic jihadists. And it was quick work to decide that those jihadists were al Qaeda.

Now, the real work began. The machine must move swiftly to connect this attack to Sept.11and thus...uh...err...Iraq!

But wait! Is that a ray of propaganda sunshine I see before me?

YES!

Lawd have mercy…it’s Rudy Giuliani!

In London!

Slap this bitch and call me Martha.

Whatever could he have to say?

It was something like “America stands behind our ally as they stood by us during our time of need…Sept. 11”. Keep in mind...my ass was very tipsy.

Thank you Rudy! Jesus, what would we do without you?

This bitch is torn between wonder and horror. Am I the only one who watches the big propaganda machine and sees them for the bullshit artists that they are? These people are working their asses off! And all under the cloak of legitimate news. Sigh. A bitch is concerned that The Man may not be getting the kind of acknowledgement that a 24-hour propaganda turn-around deserves!

And yet, a bitch remains un-spun...

Things ABB Slurred to the Television...

The fact that terror cells are still able to execute coordinated attacks at will is not a sign that the tide is turning towards to efforts of democracy.

Soledad, Diane and Katie – we are not safe, have not been safe and will not be safe.

CNN – cease comparing these attacks to The Blitz of WWII. Some 43,000 civilians were estimated to have died during The Blitz. Sit down, shut up and listen. A bitch has always admired London for its ability to survive a multi-year bombing. You diminish that achievement when you launch into the comparison game. You limited, irrelevant media hack fucks.

ABC – It’s 2005. Go live or give it up.

NBC – Nothing is shallower than viewing a tragedy through a national gaze. Couldn’t you at least mix in some fucking coverage with all the “American Hero” and American Victim” stories. Jesus to God, you people are so fucking lazy.

p.s. to ABC – Stop star-fucking NBC for all their stories. They suck and all you are doing is following them down the fuck-up trail!

CBS – Hello? Is there anyone home?

A bitch does not recognize the existence of FOX.

Sigh.

The true tragedy is that so few even noticed that the G8 wrapped up having accomplished so little…so quickly.

Anyone up for another cocktail?

9 comments:

Catherine Vocalist said...

You're very canny and insightful even when heavily buzzed on Vodka crans.... To find out what was really going on, I went and checked out British bloggers that were liveblogging...they were telling the truth that the news didn't want to show.

Kim Plaintive said...

I want Dan Rather back. p.s. CNN is useless.

jennybean said...

I tend to agree with you, ... and I'm not even drinking!
As soon as I found out Guiliani was over there, I started to think the CIA had something to do with it.. I mean, it makes sense. It takes the attention away from everything that the G8 wants (that Bush doesn't) focuses it back on *his* agenda, and adding in a couple of soundbites from "America's Mayor *tm*" helps rally all the right wingers around Bush-- how could the rest of these pansy- ass countries possibly go back to their peacenick agenda of helping the poor after they have been attacked by the Axis of Evil??

Dixie said...

Thank God I only have one US based media outlet to deal with. CNN International, while different than the CNN y'all get subjected to - different people, anyway - still has to swing it all around to revolve around the US. Why? Why? It's London's story and yet when touched by a US outlet it turns into "But what about us?? What's thing going to do to us??"

I had to go back to watching German media outlets before I went crazy.

fahren said...

"Slap this bitch and call me Martha." You mean your name isn't Susan? hehe. Seriously, I decided to be on time for work for once and got up to watch your favorite show (I'm on doctors orders not to watch news but GMA is infotainment)--American nurse, American victims, American American American. You would have thought it happened in London,Connecticut. Went to work with a bad attitude, but thanks to Prozac I don't care.

Geogrrl said...

I recently discovered you, ABB and I love your blog.

Just wanted to say that I agree with the other comment. My first thought upon hearing about the bombings in London was that the CIA had something to do with it. For the same reasons the OP said.

On the other hand, it might be three guys still living in their parents' basement.

But it doesn't smack of al Qaeda. No kamikaze element; not really their kind of statement.

And yes, the type of media coverage we have been getting on the event in the US is really, REALLY pissing me off.

Cynthia said...

I don't believe it was al-Qaeda either.

Salem Watchen said...

You may be on to something, but you shouldn't be so reserved. This is your blog, after all - you should say what you really think is going on. I loved the fact Guiliani was over there, too. If he's not a black cat for terrorist events, there must be conspiracy afoot.

Eva said...

When I saw that Rudy Giuliani was in London, I quickly put it the conspiracy theory together. He is the connection between 9/11 and London. He's working for the Republican Spin Machine (i.e. Bush). Bush wasn't interested in talking about Africa for days on end and he needed to do something to show that his war was not a mistake.

It will all come out in the light.