Friday, October 05, 2007

God said what?

My oh my, a bitch read this shit and…well, it gave me pause.

A certain Richard Roberts, son of Oral Roberts and President of Oral Roberts University (didn't Kathy Lee go there?), is hip deep in a misuse of funds-based scandal.

Mmhmmm…and it reads like a Bible-based soap opera.

Blink.

Come to think of it, this scandal would make a fantabulous soap opera.

Anyhoo, President Richard Roberts…son of a famed evangelist Oral Roberts and President of Oral Roberts University, is accused of illegal involvement in a local political campaign, spending donors' money like it’s going out of style (mmmhmm, allegedly got his house remodeled every year and shit like that!!)…and (gulp) he’s accused of using the university jet for his daughter's senior trip to the Bahamas.

Ummm, oh and there's the purchase of a snazzy little red Mercedes convertible and a Lexus SUV for his wife, Lindsay.

Nice.

Lindsay, wife of Richard and mother of their Paris Hilton in training, is accused of getting her shop on in the thousands, gifting the chil’ren of friends with scholarships to the university and...are you sitting down?...okay…and texting young men.

Sigh.

Texting and texting…and texting and texting…and texting and texting (oooooooh, no she didn't!) young men on university issued cell phones.

Ouch, baby.

Ouch.

Now, a bitch would have just filed this under another case of social conservatives behaving like social conservatives (Super Freaks…they're super freaky, yeah) but then President Richard Roberts said that God spoke to him.

Blink.

And the bitchitude faithful asked…“Shark-Fu! What did God tell him?”

And a bitch replied…

He said God told him… "We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion."

Blink one more damn time.

Nope, I ain’t buying that shit either...just doesn’t sound like something She would say.

But it does sound suspiciously like Roy Black.

Mayhap he's perched on Roberts' left shoulder?

9 comments:

dc_speaks said...

damn I love this blog. seriously!

have a great weekend ABB!

Avatar said...

I'm always surprised when other people are surprised when the most outspoken conservatives turn out to be closet-skeleton-hoarding hypocrites.

Has decades of reading the papers and watching the news taught us nothing?

Phoebe Fay said...

That's a wonderful story. I am just swimming in schadenfreude right now, and the water is fine!

andrea said...

News like that, I just run outta polysyllabic expletives.

We have high school students in our program for kids with severe emotional & behavoural issues, some of whom have that sort of denial-of-responsibility, delusional rationalisation, stealing, and acting out (in sexually inappropriate ways) thing going on. But they're the ones IN the program, not the ones running the school.

It's alarming to realise that sometimes people just grow up, but they don't actually mature.

Marko said...

Of course these folks love Jesus...he made them very wealthy.

God must love gullible drones forking over ten percent of their social security checks to the local shaman, because he sure as shit made a lot of them.

Dusty said...

Since this went SO well with the Sunday Theocrat theme, I have posted this wonderful diatribe over at Sirens today.

Bless you Shark-Fu for your spot on analysis.

Destiny said...

Serving God must be very expensive these days.

Watcher said...

Seems God has a way of telling these "Holy" men a lot of things that they think people will believe.

Roberts, Swaggart, Poppoff, if these were really men of God??? God Help Us All.

It's Me... Maven said...

Hmmm, [thinking aloud here].... if Kathie Lee attended Oral Roberts... who, pray tell, attended Anal Roberts?

Discuss!