Friday, October 26, 2007

Breaking News – Americans Stressed the Hell Out….

One third of us are under extreme stress and are probably fixin' to blow!

Blink.

Apparently, hearing that Americans are stressed the hell out is shocking to some.

Gasp!

What the fuck ever. A bitch thinks that one third number is fucking low.

Golly, I wonder for whence the stress comes…

Well, the economy may be growing but paychecks are on a starvation diet…the nation is neck deep in a multi-front war with the Bush administration making calf eyes at another military confrontation with Iran…our schools aren’t educating the youth…violent crime is up…the cost of fuel is through the roof…my generation views Social Security in the same light in which we view the floppy disk…health care has become such a luxury a bitch expects to find it listed in the Neiman Marcus Holiday catalogue…the drought and those fires…the work still undone to clean up from those hurricanes and that flood…people can’t keep their house, afford a house, heat a house or furnish a house…and just about everyone running for office sounds like they are running in some other country where the milk is flavored with honey and dawgs shit rent money daily.

Pause…sip water…continue.

Add to that the regular life shit…my stress over my volunteer work, the fact that my body is falling the fuck apart and my uterus has declared war, and don’t get me started about Miss SisterGirl Cabrio showing her ‘I need an oil change’ ass...cough…Theo and Betsey dawg-based walk guilt, the bills upon bills upon bills…gasp…the cost of 1% organic milk and…

Lawd, have mercy...I think I can feel my Afro going white.

Blink.

Fuck it, nothing to do but do…

In the win-ter, in the sum-mer,
Don't we have fun,
Times are bum and get-ting bum-mer,
Still we have fun
There's nothing sur-er,
The rich get rich and the poor get high blood pressure
In the mean-time, In be-tween time,

Ain't we got fun!?

7 comments:

Meg said...

"Ain't we got fun!" Ah, the good old Depression era music. Yup, time to drag out those tunes.

rikyrah said...

FYI: Genarlow Wilson is finally freed by Georgia Supreme Court.

AOB said...

I gave up worrying about worrying about being stressed.

If I sleep. I sleep. If I don't I get my ass up and accomplish something.

If we believed everything the politicians and the media told us we would be afraid to leave the house.

As for me..... I'll have another Absolut and Tonic with a wedge of lime and THEN decide whether or not to worry about worrying about being stressed...;)

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Mr Henry David Thoreau said that happiness and contentment is all inside of us. The lowliest person in the worse position posible can still be at peace within and the richest man in the biggest house can be a tangled miserable mess.
The older I get, the more true that becomes. I've tried working it for years, but it's tough to do.
Today my biggest worry is that the turkeys in my flock are going to be too big by the end of next month.

The Lazy Iguana said...

Wow. This may be the best blog pose ever written. Ever. In the entire history of the internet.

Hey could you send some of those happy pills my way? I need a few. This whole "getting my job back" think is stressing me the fuck out.

I need the 500mg happy pills. The 250mg pills are just not happy enough.

My truck's passenger side front tire brakes makes a funny scraping noise when I drive. Sometimes. Not all the time. That can not be good. But till I get the job back, guess what I can not afford to fix?? This adds to the stress. I have to just turn the radio up really loud so I do not hear the noise. Good thing I had the amp installed when I could afford to have it put in!

more cowbell said...

AAAGGGGHHH!

Crap.

AJ said...

I cosign with The Lazy Iguana. Excellent post!