Last night this bitch decided to view Senator Craig’s press conference at home whilst enjoying a yummified dinner and a rather fantabulous vodka cran.
With his wife at his side, Senator Craig said he did nothing “inappropriate”…that he is “not gay and never have been”…that he’s the victim of a “witch hunt” launched by the Idaho Statesman newspaper…that he only pleaded guilty because he was freaked out by that alleged witch hunt and that he now regrets having done so…oh, and that he didn’t consult with a lawyer, his staff, his political party or his family before entering that guilty plea.
By the time Senator Craig was done talking and the talking heads were done spinning this bitch was on vodka cran number three (yum) and well into a fantabulous state of schadenfreudel bliss.
Based on his statement, we’re to believe that Senator Craig was so freaked out by the investigation launched by the Idaho Statesman newspaper that he would plea to something he wasn’t guilty of but not so freaked out that he would avoid peaking through airport bathroom stalls, getting his foot tapification on in what I’ve come to understand is a known bathroom bootie call technique and waving his hand under the stall wall to indicate interest.
And we’re also asked to believe that Senator Craig lied…under oath and before a judge…when he entered his guilty plea some two months after the incident, which means that he committed perjury in August to cover up the airport bathroom foot tapping to signal lust-based incident.
Am I getting this shit right?
Senator Craig says he is not lying about not being gay but he did lie about that blow job solicitation thang…that he is not guilty of the acts he swore under oath that he was guilty of…and that he can’t imagine why (blink, blink and another blink) those mean ole meanies at the Idaho Statesman newspaper refuse to take his word on this matter.
Lawd, have mercy.
And with that performance, Senator Craig of the 'hypocrisy is his favorite value' Craigs gave a motherfucking clinic on the art of making a bad situation fubar...