This weather situation is fucked up! St. Louis has jumped from 30 degrees to almost 60 degrees and back again in the space of a week. My allergies are out of control and…oh shit! A bitch woke up with a sinus headache from hell!
2 cups coffee with Splenda and 1% organic milk incorporated, 1 Claritin, 2 Sudafed and cigs…
A final note about Smarties…
A certain Anonymous (this bitch thinks they should issue numbers to y’all so my ass can distinguish one from another) asked how Smarties differ from M&M’s. A bitch wants to be clear…and avoid any irate comments from M&M loyalists…that my ass enjoys M&M candies. However…SMARTIES ARE PERFECTLY FANTABULOUS AND KICK SOME M&M ASS!!! Whew. Smarties are made from a different chocolate…and a bitch is of the opinion that they have a better yummy candy coating.
Confession. Box #2 was inhaled yesterday. Fantabulously consumed by this bitch in less than an hour.
My sistah in bitchitude, Cranky Prof, tagged a bitch for the Five Weird Habits meme.
List and explain five weird habits that you have.
1) This bitch always brushes my teeth with my left hand behind my back palm facing out, always facing the mirror. My ass has no idea how that got started, but a bitch is a creature of habit.
2) A bitch is obsessed with lotion and moisturizes constantly…all over the body post-bathing and hands throughout the day and evening. Shit…how else is a bitch supposed to maintain my youthful softness? And a bitch can't stand being ashy!
3) Ice followed by vodka followed by cran…every single time. Did a bitch mention that my ass is a creature of habit?
4) A bitch wakes up at the same time Monday through Friday...lets Betsey the sorta-beagle out to pee...makes coffee and pops some Sudafed, then pours a cup and settles in for an hour of morning television before getting dressed. Trust me, this never changes.
5) This bitch has to have an area...my couch with my random things and a place to put my beverages while lounging and chain smoking. No area equals an anxious bitch and nothing throws my ass off like someone sitting in my area and fucking with my things.
Gawd, my ass is ritualized like a motherfucker.
Consider yourself tagged...Blood Ray, Dixie Peach, Homer and Jenna.