Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Harnessing the power of spontaneous combustion one playground debate at a time…

Some people really do declare themselves assholes when discussing immigration.

The temperature outside is at least 300 degrees and these motherfuckers want to debate which rich white man with immigrant ancestry is willing to crack down harder on people seeking an immigrant future.

Lawd, give me strength!

Romney and Giuliani are tossing “yo' momma” immigration disses back and forth and…fuck it, it really is too hot for this bullshit!

Shit.

Pause…consider …reflect…

Actually...come to think of it...the temperature might be just right.

Harnessing the power of spontaneous combustion one playground debate at a time...

Eureka y’all!

A bitch has decided that this immigration bullshit discussion and the spontaneously combusting school yard story broke on the same day for a reason!

That’s right!

Instead of tearing down all the spontaneously combusting playgrounds, we need to hold immigration debates on them…in the middle of the day…during a motherfucking heat advisory.

Each candidate will be handcuffed...ummm...err, make that "secured"... to a podium and the audience will be comprised of a diverse group representing the masses not the country club.

If someone proposes a viable solution-based reform they will be released.

If they propose bullshit followed by an indictment of the other candidate’s nanny’s paperwork then they will get to roast.

Literally.

Blink.

What?

This plan will maximizing efficiency while recycling those playgrounds most likely to erupt in flame (wink)!

As a matter of fact this proposal is rather "green"…up until the point the playground catches fire.

3 comments:

Kamrin said...

Sounds like the best plan yet! Go Shark-Fu!

Blasphemous and Offensive said...

What a fabulous idea!

Best yet, how about we throw some fuel on the fire by papering the playground with the "No Child Left Behind" legislation?

~Macarena~ said...

I love the subtitle "Intense Heat Can Be Dangerous to Kids in Playgrounds." Rather than building shelters or removing wood, they'll probably invest in adding warning notes to playground equipment. Perhaps the genius who wrote the McDonald's hot coffee alert will volunteer.