You know a bitch loves you like a pain, Graydon (wink).
The new issue of Vanity Fair arrived (late as hell and what the fuck is up with that?) and C-Money flipped through it after dinner. We were each comfortably tucked into our couch-based areas when C-Money, loud as hell from her side of the room, yelled out…
"Christopher Hitchens has written some shit titled Why Women Aren’t Funny!”
This bitch sulkishly tossed back…"Mmmhmmm…I read about it already. Look, I’m feeling illish and don’t wanna hear it right now. Hitchens makes me nauseous on a good day.”
“Oh, hell no! You’ve got to listen to this shit!” C-Money snorted with a laugh.
“No! I told you I don’t feel…”
“Shut the fuck up! Hitchens may have lost his motherfucking mind! Listen…"
“As every father knows, the placenta is made up of brain cells, which
migrate southward during pregnancy and take the sense of humor along with them.
And when the bundle is finally delivered, the funny side is not always
immediately back in view. Is there anything so utterly lacking in humor as a
mother discussing her new child?” Hitchens/Vanity Fair
And then it started…a trickle that became an uncontrollable festival of laughter the likes of which we haven’t shared in forever and a day. A bitch laughed so hard I had to run to the bathroom…my sides hurt….the dawgs started to howl in solidarity.
C-Money, barely able to speak beyond her giggles, continued…
"There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible male"Ooh, oh shit! No, no, no wait…" she laughed out
comedians,” Hitchens/Vanity Fair
“but there are some impressive ladies out there.” Hitchens/Vanity FairShe gasped some more and then went on.
“Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey“Christ Jesus!” I wailed and convulsed with laughter. “Stop already! I can’t breathe.” I gasped and wiped my eyes.
or Jewish, or some combo of the three.” Hitchens/Vanity Fair
C-Money, having collected herself, shook her head at the page as if it were Hitchens himself…"Good God man, push away from the Scotch and pull it together."
The Sisters Bitch toasted Hitch (we’re not close, but he just looks like something Hitchified to me) and his fear of placenta and female rejection!
Christ, did that motherfucker actually quote Kipling?