Thursday, November 02, 2006

Aaaaahhhh, love to loathe you baby!

A bitch stumbled across the news that the reigning Mistress of Rancidity, Ann Counter, may face criminal charges for voting in the wrong precinct in Florida.

I am beyond confused.

Oh, not by the fact that she’s facing charges. Voting in the wrong precinct is a crime in Florida. In fact, someone with Coulter’s academic resume should know that.

No, this bitch was surprised by the apparent Nixonian texture of this fuck up.

Seriously!

Ann Coulter…the poster child for the modern American Puritanical revolution…the woman who has been prancing around for years starting and ending her arguments with how smart she is…Ms. Judgment herself is about to go down for voting in the wrong precinct.

Lawd, have mercy!

If Coulter can prove that she didn’t vote in the wrong precinct why not produce the proof and get this shit out of her wretched way?

If she can’t prove that she lives in the precinct she voted in…and a bitch is pretty sure that’ll be easier to prove than whether or not she’s human…then a crime has been committed and a crime is a crime is a crime according to Puritanical doctrine. It simply doesn’t matter whether she intended to fuck up or not.

How the hell do you accidentally vote in the wrong precinct anyway? A bitch already has my voter card, which tells my ass to go forth and vote where my happy ass always votes. Did Coulter not register again when she moved?

Naughty heifer!

I understand that Coulter probably doesn’t spend a lot of time in Florida…too busy kicking puppies and making toddlers cry…but that isn’t an excuse for wandering to the wrong precinct rather than correcting an address issue at your correct precinct either.

Mercy.

She is a long serving loyal minion, however.

Sigh.

A bitch’s schadenfreudal joy is on hold for now…

15 comments:

Eric said...

Best to keep that joy on hold. After all, you know this is somehow Clinton's fault and she will be exonerated and more self-righteous than ever.

It's Me, Maven... said...

Ethics? Shmethics!!!!

Perhaps a this might silence the Vitriol Vixen a bit? Who knows... but one can hope:)

Anonymous said...

Looks like a lotta people have had a tough week, but the worst belongs to brother Kerry. He was involved in a Republican driveby and then bitch slapped by his own Democratic homeies. Life is tough in the "Hood."

Aarlene said...

I bet her excuse is the Republican MO: living while drunk.
What is with these people?
Ghoulter---ewwww gives me the willies just thinking about it.

lazybythelake said...

but how was she even allowed to vote at the wrong place?

at my polling place (the nearby elementary school) there is a fine group of very nice senior women from the community that check me in everytime i go vote. i've even heard them giving directions to people that ended up in the wrong place.

just wondering.

~Macarena~ said...

I would have thought she's the kind of woman who says she'd be happy to let her husband vote on her behalf, or have him cast a "family" vote.

Anonymous said...

I vote in my boxer shorts sitting at the kitchen table with a big fat cup of hot coffee at the ready. YAY for ABSENTEE BALLOTS!

J said...

You said her name! It makes my ears bleed a little...

I hope she rots.

Absolut Billy said...

Im still upset you wont end your Coulter play with a fast forward to present times, when I she meets her demise with a baseball bat to the skull. Or dip her in cheese and let rats eat her or something. Lord theres noone that makes my skin crawl like her.

Margaret said...

Lots of peeps do this to get out of Jury Duty in Florida. Despite what we are told, if you vote you will be called up for Jury Duty. If you don't vote, you'll never ever get that little card in your mailbox.

This way when a voter does get a Jury duty summons they can just check the box that reads, "Exempt because thou doesn't live in this district."

This excuse doesn't lesson Ann's slimy'ness by any degree. However it does explain why more people don't go out to vote than those that do.

Voting = Jury Duty is a matter that needs to be made fair to all American people. Especially those like me who have employers who don't give a rat's ass if you miss work for Jury Duty. $6 a day pay from the Gov'ment doesn't work for me.

Anonymous said...

Not to pile on Margaret, but what's wrong with voting = jury duty? Citizens should stand up and do both. I agree that it would just as efficient to do utility bill = jury duty or state ID/license = jury duty ... but the fact that people want to shirk just makes me illish. I just post-poned jury duty for six months. When called again, I'll go. Because I did that shit once and, let me tell you, you want to do the right karma thing when it comes to jury service -- if it's you on trial some day, you'll want some decent people judging you. Suck it up people! Vote. Pay your taxes. And go sit on the damn jury every few years. It's the least you can do ... you get to be an American, for God's sake.

- C-money Annoyed at Citizens

juxtafem said...

I hadn't thought about jury duty, just thought she didn't want her phone number out there on the public information lists of registered voters. Either way, *shrug* the answering machine is your friend---and you're right girlfriends, jury duty is just that, a duty, suck it up.

~Macarena~ said...

I was called for pre-jury duty twice, but they ended up not needing me each time. I don't know what the big deal is. Don't they allow you to decline if you have work constraints?

On some crime show, they referred to a jury as 12 people not smart enough to get out of jury duty. Worrisome.

Elizabeth said...

I can clear this up for you. Coulter registered to vote using her realtor's address in a different area of Palm Beach because she didn't want the address of her new house to be known to the public. When she went to vote, the nice old gentleman volunteer, a lifelong Republican, happened to notice that her address was wrong, since he remembered reading about the house she bought, and knew where it was.

He politely told her, "No problem. All you need to do is fill out this short change of address form, and you're good to go." Coulter stormed out of the building, with the astounded old man following her, waving the form. She drove down the road to the next precinct, where the volunteers weren't as observant, and voted in the wrong place.

Weasel said...

I understand that Coulter probably doesn’t spend a lot of time in Florida…too busy kicking puppies and making toddlers cry…

I can totally see that. ::Shudder::