Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Please turn the heat down...

A bitch sincerely hopes that everyone is able to keep cool during our lower 48 state's heat wave from HELL!

Shit.

I’ve been dreaming of Alaska…yeah, a nice brisk cool breeze filtering over my skin and through my afro while my feet soak in the cool running water of some intense stream-like water based area.

Ahh...

And there aren’t a lot of people in Alaska (fuck it, this is my heat induced fantasy)…lots of bears, but not a lot of assholes HONKING AND CUTTING A BITCH OFF JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT!

As if they are the only person hot as hell 'round here.

Anger management problem having asses!

It’s not my problem they drive a gas guzzling machine, live 50 miles outside of the city ‘cause they fear the hood and just got assaulted by ‘what the market will bear’ (wink) at the pump.

Damn it all, this heat is wearing on me.

Sigh.

News that Scooter B. plans to acknowledge the existence of the NAACP after a five year absence…which is a brilliant public relations bullshit laden attempt to navigate around the fact that he has not addressed the NAACP since being elected President…caused a bitch to pause.

ABB’s Initial Reaction…
Who the hell wants to sit at a dinner and watch Scooter B. talk all around his food with his mouth wide open, slouch in his chair and say crazy shit?

I can just imagine it.

Concerned NAACP member…"Mr. President, how do you plan to address concerns about disenfranchisement in the age of computerized voting?”

Scooter B., with a mouth full of baked chicken…"Yo! The irony is that they just need to stop doing that shit!”

Jesus!

After some reflection…
What the fuck is the NAACP thinking?

Julian! You need to call a bitch!

This is the political equivalent of cooking dinner for your sister’s husband after he left her and four kids with no food in the house, bills unpaid and a leaky roof!

Gawd, have you no pride?

Tell him you've booked another President…give Carter or Clinton a call...and tell that idiot thanks, but no thanks!

Those desperate vote pandering motherfuckers don't deserve a seat at our table every four years.

ABB’s Final Reaction…
Sigh.

Sigh again.

Sigh one more time.

Why is it always the heathen who benefits from the home training of others?

Come on down, Scooter B. and we’ll fix you a plate.

You won’t be the first insensitive, dismissive, bullshit rhetoric spewing, reluctant and uncomfortable, yet desperate for the votes of that confused 10% of black folks who are willing to trade for the appearance of advancement...ahem...asshole politician to speak before the NAACP.

And what the hell, a bitch hopes the membership takes a good hard look! Take notes, my brothers and sisters...and get a good look at what poor voter turnout and an epidemic of apathy will get you.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t touch anybody (play the video and you'll understand)…

18 comments:

Christopher said...

But ABB, wouldn't it be fabulous if the NAACP only agreed to host his ignorant ass if he agreed to take questions from the audience? You know he NEVER takes questions that aren't cleared by Rove first...that would be hot seeing some bitches grill him!

Shark-fu said...

Ah, but the NAACP is known for some serious old school home trained members who are far more likely to clap without enthusiasm and tisk behind his back.

This bitch wasn't able to fit the dinner into my busy social calendar (wink) but I shall TiVo it...

SkeptikOne said...

I think Chris Mathews reads you...just after you posted your thoughts about shrub's lack of decorum at the dinner table, Mathews was on CNN sayin' the same thing, almost word for word!

Anonymous said...

My god woman, do you ever shut up? I've never seen so much nonsense ranting.

Get a job or at least do some volunteer work.

jobsanger said...

I believe the Dixie Chicks were right. Georgie truly is an embarrassment to us all.

Too bad the great Barbara Jordan is not around to question this fool. I'd sure buy a ticket to see that!

Todd said...

I almost posted earlier about that man groping German Chancellor Angela Merkel, but quite frankly I'm so mortified by his behavior over the past few days I don't even want to give him the courtesy of mentioning his name.

Limecrete said...

There is one good thing to be said about this atrocious heat. Though I know it's a not a direct line from cause to effect here, I notice that the global warming naysayers who started a near-constant whine of denial after An Inconvenient Truth came out have finally shut up. Whew.

Rileysdtr said...

Remember, you're not sweating, you're glowing. Honest. No, really...

Hello from Steamy Chicago! Where Gay Games VII is chugging along full-tilt and the local news is carrying the story, even if I have yet to see this 4-year international sports and cultural event covered in any other media. The weather sucks; it was 120 with the heat index Sunday on the Lakefront, and I must absolutely give it up to the cheer and flag corps teams who put on an amazing show at our big lakefront park for thousands of supportive or just-walking-by people. I stood there (slathered on home to Jesus with sunscreen, as I burst into flames otherwise) with sweat running down not only my back but my legs into my tennis shoes, while grown men and women in those godawful polyester cheer outfits were jumping, tumbling, building 3-person-high pyramids, and flinging themselves and other into the air. WOW!

The Opening Ceremonies were inspiring (Team Uganda got the biggest ovation from the crowd - all one of him), the competitions are terrific to watch (especially the ice hockey, for obvious reasons) and I look forward to the Closing Ceremonies this weekend. Y'all COME UP if you can - good seats are still available!

Shark-fu said...

What would life be like without anonymouses trying to tell grown people what to do?

Ann? Is that you again? Cease stalking a bitch!

Fuck it...that 'real job' shit followed by 'some volunteer work' cracked me up!

Fantastic.

Ant Annie said...

ABB - I don't know where "Anonymous" gets off telling you to "Get a job or at least do some volunteer work." They obviously haven't been reading your blog on a daily basis. Tell you what - you just keep on with the "nonsense ranting" that you blog. It is refreshing to read and you have some wonderful ideas. Like I said before, let me know when you're running for some national office and I'll vote for you.

~ann
(no, not THAT ann)

rachel said...

My gosh, that anonymous has some reading comprehension issues! As if a bitch hasn't described her volunteer activities on numerous occasions on this blog! Anonymous seems to have succumbed to the heat wave and is raving deleriously.

clarafiedwords said...

He's ignorant on so many levels.
The man just sexually harassed the
German Chancellor

Danielle said...

Don't worry about it, bitch, you should have seen some of the anonymous "telling what to do" posts in some of the other blogs I visit.

Did you see an inconvenient truth?

El G├╝ero said...

Bush and irony...he wouldn't recognize irony if it hit him in the head. But he sure knows how to say "shit".

Green Sea Queen said...

What's wrong with him? Did Scooter forget to take his meds this week? Hyperactive child, he can't keep his hands to himself.

Anonymous said...

Irony. Across the country people adore the Bitch. Anyone can be anything they want on the web. Reality is quite different from a life of fantasy.

Shark-fu said...

Oh my, 'irony' is certainly enjoying a come back!

Blink.

Double blink.

Did a bitch miss a midnight screening of Reality Bites on TBS?

belledame222 said...

ohman. Barbara Jordan is *sorely* missed these days.