Monday, July 17, 2006

Some thoughts on home training...

Scooter B. (President Bush for the uninitiated) was caught on microphone in an off microphone moment during a G8 meal break earlier today. The press is having a ball with this one, but a bitch has to admit that Scooter B.’s use of…well, potty mouth language...he said 'shit' or something like that...wasn’t even all that extreme for a President. Nixon adored a good curse word…and LBJ set a mark Scooter B. can only aspire to (wink).

No, it was not the curse word that caught my attention…Brother Rob has posted a bit on that here...it was the complete lack of home training!

CNN first chose to air the audio, which was alarming enough. There was quite a lot of mumbling…a constant and repetitive smacking sound that a bitch took to be a grunt...followed by guttural acknowledgements from Scooter B. to a certain Tony Blair, who was updating our fear inspiring leader on some Middle East conflict stuff.

My Gawd…was my first thought…no wonder the Head Asshole in Charge (HAiC) is confused as a motherfucker!

He doesn’t listen!

All that grunting and gasping and interruptus maximus…hush, now and listen for a spell!

Hush...all that muttering makes a bitch want to pinch someone.

Lawd, have mercy!

I rose and prepared a fantabulous cup of coffee. Upon my return CNN was airing the whole episode again…with video.

There’s Scooter B., suit jacket open sitting at a diplomatically round table with Tony Blair leaning against said table yet looming above while trying to converse with him (Scooter B.) about all things Israeli/Hezbollah conflict related.

Scooter B. was chewing…like a cow put fresh out to pasture…with his mouth wide open and tiny bits of Russian munchables floating about for Gawd and everyone to see.

He was seated…and seemed to be gyrating about in his chair…as he chewed with his mouth WIDE FUCKING OPEN!

The noise that a bitch had heard earlier was part interruptus maximus muttering and part open mouth chewage.

Ugh!

You nasty no home training having heathen-like fool!

No way in hell your momma is southern, son. No way in hell! A childhood spent dodging smacks would have broke you of the nastified open mouth speaking at the table habit, right quick.

Mmhmm.

Not only did it appear that Scooter B. had some serious gas…all that moving about…but he remained seated the entire time.

Talk about prince to pauper diplomacy.

A bitch suspects that the only reason Mr. Blair didn’t seat himself down to converse with the HAiC was that he didn’t want to put himself at eye level with all that open mouth chewage!

Can you blame him?

Well…a bitch would apologize, but my ass is not responsible for this etiquette disaster!

However...

A certain Mistress of Former First Lady-based Rancidity has some explaining to do...

Someone, somewhere needs to advise Scooter B. to hush all that muttering and talking around your food.

A bitch suspects a translator specializing in gauche eating inspired linguistics had to assist CNN so they could discern the word 'shit' in that garbled exchange that kicked this current spin off in the first place...

9 comments:

Homer said...

When I was speaking to Senator Kyl's (R-AZ) Washington DC office and mentioned "the shitty Iraq war" the office lackey shouted in the telephone at me not to use profanity. When I told him that I grew up on a farm and the word shit wasn't profane, he hung up on me. Dumb git.

Hammer said...

Mmmhmmm. I just read this story from CNN. See what a lot of money and a "first rate" education will get you?

"Paris Hiltonification" of the US led by the President.

What an Ass-face!

Hammer

Shark-fu said...

Homer...that's a damned shame. If it walks like it and talks like it, you've gotta call it what it is.

Hammer...mmmhmmm, Andover and Yale must be beyond proud.

JerseyTjej said...

I have it on good source that Babs is going to let "'Alker" pick his own switch...Barb don't play that shit! Chewin with your mouth open! Like he ain't had no home trainin!!!

brian said...

Andover,Yale AND Harvard!

J said...

I suspect Babs never taught him not to chew that way because she was too busy peering at his ugly ass, thinking that the sun was shining out of it. Loser.

I remember at Mrs. King's funeral a few months ago, Scooter was slouched over the whole time, looking about as bored as he could be. To me, it spoke volumes. He doesn't want to deal with this shit. He wants to go ride his bike. I say, we let him. Win/win.

Kiril, The Mad Macedonian said...

Woman, you are brilliant!

Your post brightened my morning! ;-D

Disgusted in St. Louis said...

Be sure and check out Scooter, the CEO President, sexually harrassing German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

(via Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying)

lightning said...

Table manners. Yeesh! I'd think that would be a prerequisite for Politics 101.

I think the term that applies here is "drunk".