Thursday, June 16, 2005

Hold on to your pudding pops...

A bitch's mood just improved with the news that Bill Cosby is coming to St. Louis!

Bill Cosby in The Lou! He's hosting a town hall meeting at Harris Stowe State College Monday June 20 from 6p-8p. They are being pretty frank about the fact that they don't have enough seats, so you may want to catch it on 104.9.

Now, a bitch has a lot to go over with The Coz. I've been watching that A&E show Intervention and a bitch feels ready to Intervene with Bill Cosby next week.

ABB's Agenda for Her Fictional Meeting with Bill Cosby

1. Inform Cosby that his bizarre use of phrasing and verbal rhythm is disturbing and off-putting. Tell him to relay the same feedback to Jesse. Talk normal! Jesus, doesn't he have a PhD.? Articulate, motherfucker. Stop talking about serious shit the same way you pontificate about a pudding pop.

2. Urge...no, challenge....no, tell Cosby to stop chasing pussy. Advise him to also come clean about the past ass he has chased. This shit is not going away and his ass has the 60s and 70s to address in the "historical tail chasing" department.

3. Urge Cosby to let go of that self-righteous indignation over each ass chasing, pinching, grabbing, fucking allegation. God Damnit, man, you paid child support for 20 years based on the possibility you may have been that baby's daddy! Do you know how much ass you have to tap to start forgetting the names of the ass you have tapped? From now on, when a person comes forward handle it like Wilt Chamberlain - I probably fucked her, so here's some money.

4. Explain to Cosby why he may need to back off the State of Blackness tip. He doesn't understand, or his ass wouldn't be coming to town to chat with us about it. Cosby, you had a point about "our" dirty laundry walking home from school with the pants off the ass (though that can be cute at times and a bitch did sport that look during my Black Militant phase). However, our dirty laundry is also going to court at the age of 60 to handle sexual harassment suits that they later have to admit may have happened "but not like she described". Hmmm. Your ass isn't exactly "leading by example", so step aside and let this bitch preside!

A bitch really likes Bill Cosby. I do! I'm just so disappointed that a man with so much promise can't pass up some side action. His wife is truly lovely. He clearly loves his family. But Bill Cosby has lost the moral credibility to cast judgment on those that this bitch agrees need to be judged.

And do we need a celebrity to tell us what's wrong with black America culturally? Shit, my ass can walk down the street and see what's going on. The issue is not "discussing it" but figuring out how to "act on" it.

We need to stop shouting at our chil'ren and sitting around doing nothing when they should see us looking for a job. We need to stop embracing welfare and start using the various organizations out there to get back on our two feet and provide for our chil'ren. We need to stop fucking like rabbits without a care for what may come hopping out in 9 months. We need to stop validating unplanned teen pregnancy because we mistake that for support. We need to take our sons and daughters to Walgreen’s and buy condoms with them then SHOW THEM HOW TO USE THEM!

Jesus to God, a sistah is tired of reading about my brothas and sistahs getting AIDS from lame sexual encounters and mercy fucks!

Chil'ren, we do not need Cosby to tell us what needs to happen. It's the "how" that keeps tripping us up.

Let the healing begin...

17 comments:

Scott said...

I sure could have used some of those mercy fucks in high school, though.

justjudith said...

you hit the nail on the head with that post! cos has too many skeletons to keep chastisin' folks. it's a community problem. and i don't think alienating people is gonna fix it.

Tiger Lilly said...

Have mercy my dear, you are so right. Sad to say, but I used to be so depressed because I didn't have a Heathcliff Huxtable type father. Aint it a bitch to learn that neither did Ennis and the rest of them?? It hurts me to my heart to see how that man has disrespected Camille (goes to show you that no matter how beautiful, accomplished and spectacular you are, if your man is a trifling dog, he will always be a trifling dog).

"However, our dirty laundry is also going to court at the age of 60 to handle sexual harassment suits that they later have to admit may have happened "but not like she described". Hmmm. Your ass isn't exactly "leading by example"..."

I feel you on that one.

I really think that he has lost it, and is just talking out of his ass. The only thing he does is complain, but has yet to offer any viable solutions. What is the point of that? He isn't accomplishing anything other than making us think about how srewed we are right now. And yes, he is speaking like someone with far less education. We may be in trouble, but he doesn't have to dumb down for anyone.

AND, where are the Latin, White, and Asian "leaders" who are promoting positive change in their communities by talking about how jacked everything is???

Crystal-Lynn said...

Tracy's looking into tix for us. You can have at him!

Da Professa said...

Hmmm...there are several of my pet issues here but this isn't my blog so I will take just the one:

An implication in the post and some of the comments is that one cannot cast aspersions on a given area of another's character if one has ANY sort of character flaw him/her-self. Now color me stupid but isn't that setting up your fellow HUMAN to perfect before they can have an opinion? For the criteria of your "leaders" to be so stringent that they can no longer relate to you and the real world? Is the assumption then that before one can be considered to be a leader of humanity or express a valid opinion on the bully pulpit; he/she must be above reproach and flawless in all areas? To me that smacks of idealism and it is indicative of what is wrong with American voters and the political spin machine. Americans rush to "leaders" who claim to be without flaw....then wonder why they are so ineffective at their job and out of touch with reality. Spank me with a monkey, but it does not follow that JUST because you are flawed then the opinion you speak must also be somehow "less". To often we pick our would be leaders/pundits/and "moral"(would love to debate that one) chieftans on how sturdy of a pedestal we can place them on. The end result of that is something less than what you bargained for as you are in effect saying:
"Which one of you muah fukers has hidden his flaws the best and dumped the bodies?" oooh, pick me!!! "Excellent!, Keep your shit on the downlow and won't nobody get hurt".

Makes no sense to me but then again "Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook" and I have our own version of the Geneva accords so it could be just me. ;-)

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone....Dammit, somebody say SOMETHING, I got a booty call!" -daprofessa

Nemebabe said...

Awesome - that solid sexual education needs to be extended in the exact same manner to the underfunded kids in the deep south as well though - and it needs to be handled in the same straightforward manner. I know this for fact - cuz I never had it from anyone, and learned about sex just like everyone else I knew - at the end of T.J. Causey Road on a Friday night after a football game that I never actually attended. This sex education needs to be designed specifically for the students it will be teaching. My boyfriend told me once that at his school in Berkeley Whites, NJ they had sex Ed, and they were shown pictures of disease and whatnot, and it made them afraid - so they didnt have sex, or they did it protected. There were no pregnancies in his high school. Well gollygoshdarngoody for y'all - we HAD pregnancies, shit we had friends with babies - and no one we knew got sick...ever, that education wasn't going to work on kids who were having classes that taught us how to care for babies. What they should have done was force the girls to spend a weekend at Bernadette's trailer - and watch her try to take care of 2 babies by herself because Jim Bob Billy Joe doesn't come home at night - and when he does he stumbles in, burps and passes out. It's got to be real to make kids understand.

BTW - Proff...I think that it's ok for people to fuck up, it's not ok to put someone on blast for doing shit that's not always right when you cannot even admit that you are a human too, and have fucked up. Sometimes leading by example means showing an example of your own fuckups, so others know which way to go.

:)

Blood Ray said...

I think his PhD was honorary.

Mighty MaMa said...

So will Rudy be there with Big Daddy Bill? Or is she to busy filming "That's so Ravin'" annoying the shit outta me! Damn she was a cute kid. Now she's just another teenager with a forked tongue.

Jenna said...

I think Cosby is really arrogant to call himself and force others to call him Dr. Cosby. The Ph.D was honorary.

The problem with Cos is that he is self righteous, that quality in any human no matter what they are talking about is irritating as hell.

Da Professa said...

Hi Neme,
To address the point in your last paragraph, I only say this.....
If only people who have not fucked up are allowed to put people on blast, does it not still set us up for failure? If we ONLY find value in advice of those who have fucked up AND acknowledged said fuck-up does that make the words of those that haven't acknowledged their failures as a "good person" less valid? Can't a good idea come from a "bad" person? Can't a good idea come from a hypocrite? My point here is the difference between what we would LIKE to have out of life and what we ACTUALLY have to work with.... Sometimes we get caught up in the "like to haves"/idealistic view of the world even when REAL life keeps slapping us in the face. All i am asking for is that we are a little more cognizant of the tools we have vs the tools we would like to have. I would have love to have a world where people where comfortable enough in their own skin to lay out ALL of their foibles, impure/hateful thoughts, crimes, boring sex desires, psychosis and everything else we all hide from each other on the table....UP FRONT ...so that I could decide whether or not I wanted them to be a part of my life and/or their advice was worth listening to. That's a pipe dream....and when I say it that way everyone recognizes that it's unrealistic, idealistic and not one that they always adhere to themself but too often that is the standard we apply to people and demand. This demand changes nothing and FREQUENTLY drives the information we need deeper underground. If WE truly want to change the world then it doesn't start with "THEM". It starts with "ME". I am digressing though...

I'll holla. :-*

Nemebabe said...

I guess it's just a matter of forcing the world to admit that there are no people who do not mae mistakes. Every single person fucks up - everyone. :)
If we taught kids to own up to their mistakes to begin with, then as adults more people would do the same and we could avoid alot of the problems that come along with people in a public position making human mistakes.. I don't think I would want to know THAT much about a person (all of the stuff you listed) unless I was going to bed with them though - sometimes you just have to have a hero. The wonderful thing though is that everyone who has made a comment on this is right! If we all took a bit of what we think and implied it to life - it would make little changes to everyone we touch.

Side note - I don't want to know about peoples boring sex desires...that's just wrong. People whould not have boring sex desires...heh :)

dmfinny said...

I'm gonna end up REALLY unpopular here, but I'm a grownup, so it's all good.

Cos earned his doctorate in education in 1976 from U Mass Amherst.

True enough, he can't keep it in his pants, but then neither could Bill Clinton. Does that mean he wasn't a great president? And, while what Mexico's president Vicente Fox said was shitty, was it no less true? Perhaps it isn't so much that Cos is chastising as much as we're unhappy he said it publicly, or that we're tired of hearing that which is true, but nonetheless relevant?

I will absolutely agree that we could use a lot less scolding and a lot more molding (to steal some Jesse Jackson-ism).

espresso bean said...

Tell it like it is girl.

Shawn said...

"We need to stop fucking like rabbits without a care for what may come hopping out in 9 months. We need to stop validating unplanned teen pregnancy because we mistake that for support. We need to take our sons and daughters to Walgreen’s and buy condoms with them then SHOW THEM HOW TO USE THEM!"

I'm saying...!

Mighty MaMa said...

I'd like to say something, but shit you guys are awfully deep.....Plus, I have a fear of pissing ABB off. Imagine the cyber-slaying she could inflict upon one.

Crystal-Lynn said...

Food for thought on the Da Professa vs Nemebabe side debate: I think the issue here is hypocricy and credibility, not idealism or a standard of perfection. Cos could resolve the hypocricy issue by acknowledging his mistakes, looking repentant and changing his behavior going forward. And in so doing raise his credibility on the cultural issues he's concerned about. I think it's idealistic to think that people can separate the message from the messenger.

Da Professa said...

While I agree whole-heartedly with you on the Cosby's path to credibility, I still don't think that makes his entire message any less "right". I believe that not only can we separate the message from the messenger but we HAVE TO because ALL OF US are fallible. If we continue to wait for the message from those rare few who have never fallen then we continue to do ourselves an injustice which we may not be able to recover from. To continue to use the Cosby example, HE SAID MANY THINGS...should we throw ALL of that out because he is an alleged booty pinching philanderer? I say nay...HELL NAY. We continue to use the excuse of not having someone to "look up to" for the message that will lead us to the promise land when a LOT OF US ALREADY know and understand the message. Each one...teach one. Time to stop passing the buck because we are all just human and accept the same human faults in our leaders as we do in ourselves everday. It is past time for us to get on with the business of bulding our culture back up from the inside.