Monday, June 20, 2005

My name is ABB and I'll be your bitch this morning...

A bitch is bloody exhausted from a weekend of walking for the Cure and racing around to complete all the household tasks that must be done on the weekend or my ass will live in filth for another week. This adult shit is way over-rated.

My ass started this Monday off right (2 Sudafed, 1 Claritin, 2 cups of coffee and three cigs)…

A bitch is disturbed by the message this sends to the evildoers...
Did y’all catch the Today Show this morning? It seems that Porter Goss (Gooseman to this bitch, because we’re beyond tight like that) has “an excellent idea where Bin Laden is”. Who knew!?! Gooseman has never mentioned this before, and we talk all the time!

So, why the delay in bringing the “real killer” to justice? Well, it’s believed that Bin Laden is in Pakistan, our strong ally in the war on terror, and we are trying to motivate the Pakistani government to…well…act like an ally.

Why not just go in there and extract Bin Laden like they do in the movies? Great question! A bitch has one word for you…well, two…pay attention because some people have a hard time with this first word…Nuclear Weapons. The Pakistani’s have them and, amazingly enough, are willing to use them against their strong ally in the war on terror…America. Let’s be honest, Gooseman. We’re not “respecting the sovereignty of Pakistan”, are we? We’re American, and that means that “respect” and “sovereignty” both have fluid and ever-changing definitions to us. So, come on and admit that the only reason we have not flooded that fucking border is that we are almost 100% certain that our “ally” would blow us off the fucking map. Just say, it Goosebaby. SAY IT!

Joey B., the Bad Boy from Baltimore...
My good friend, Joey (yeah...tight like second cousins) Biden (D. U.S. Senate from Delaware), is running for President in 2008. A bitch adores Biden. Shit, I honestly like him more knowing that he virtually plagiarized a speech by a British politician word for word when announcing his run in 1987. The wolves...err, I mean the press were quick to take his ass out. And thus we were left with he who shall not be called by name. Fuck. I mean, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Sorry, but the wound still smarts.

Anyhoo, way to go Joey! A bitch has been calling for this since you ripped Scooter a new one over the war! Seriously, you are looking better and better. And a bitch now knows that you boys don’t actually write your own speeches.

Biden 2008.

Let’s all pray to the Devine One that he doesn’t start “explaining” anything. As a matter of fact, Biden needs to remain mute until we all get a handle on this shit.

Have I told you lately, that I love you...?
Since This Guy has raised the blog bar, a bitch will not even attempt to address Tom and Katie. Check it out, because honey chil’ has gone all out. A bitch is so pleased! Tickled! He's even addressed the recent splashing (note - posts must be read in order to fully appreciate the brilliance of This Guy).

Happy Fucking Monday, chil’ren!


CrankyProf said...

Oh, my. Can I tell you how excited I am about Biden? DE is just down the road, and I've had the opportunity to see him speak more than a few times.

BIDEN! Even Mr. CrankyProf (a Republican -- it's a mixed marriage, much to my lifelong Democrat father's sorrow) can get behind Biden for Prez.

disgruntled said...

I dropped by your buddy's site. He's a mess. LOL.

Need to do some research on Biden though...I haven't been in the news loop as of late.

Holley said...

Sure, Biden is Mr. Foreign Policy, seems like a swell guy, and has nice white teeth, but his record's not exactly the most progressive. Remember the bankruptcy bill that passed a few months back? Guess who helped get that passed?

CrankyProf said...

I'm not necessarily surprised at Biden's support of the heinous bankruptcy bill, at least. Delaware is damn near a subsidiary of MBNA and BankOne.