Dear Hollywood people working on the new Smurf movie,
A bitch sincerely hopes that all y’all people working on the Smurf movie know that you have been handed a slice of my childhood.
Think twice before you fuck it up!
What exactly are you doing with that hybrid computer animation live action shit?
Hmmm?
Millions of chil’ren watched the Smurfs do basically the same damned thing every Saturday for years…why fuck with a winning formula?
Didn’t y’all learn anything from that Hulk movie (wince)?
Well, you'd best just remember…
…a bitch is watching you.
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15 comments:
Think twice before you fuck it up!
That gave me the best laugh I've had in a couple of days.
...and yes, too bad no one told that to the folks who made Hulk. And Speed Racer. And Transformers. And The Flintstones. And...*
*Okay, I only saw one of those movies, but I bet they all sucked.
Sorry for the double post, but I wanted to add that you should totally cross-post this at Shakes.
Yeah, I'm afraid. CGI live action? no no no
My toothbrush holder is a Smurf mug, so I don't think I can bear to watch this new movie. Are we out of original ideas in this country?! It seems that everything is a remake/rehash/shit these days...
Wow, I didn't even know one was in development. I really miss hand-drawn animated films.
I guess the issue of 100 guys and one girl will also be left unresolved.
Shark,
Maybe we'll get lucky and get a fantabulous, angry black bitch Smurf?
I like this idea. We could call her Sharky Smurf.
Ooh, new game! A la Barbara Walters - if you were a Smurf, which Smurf would you be?
Must admit, I was just a tich too old to get into Smurfdom, and these days I definitely sympathize with Gargamel. "Hey, you damn smurfs! Get off my lawn!"
That post cracked me the hell up. I am sure that they will find some way to mess it up. I am waiting on a new revamped totally sexualized smurfette, if they could do it to strawberry shortcake, she has no chance.
I have this terrible feeling that those Smurfs are going to end up right smack in the middle of the Uncanny Valley. It's a damn shame.
What's really uncanny is apparently there already were Black Smurfs(!) - but they were blackface(?) :( (?)
http://www.amazon.fr/Schtroumpfs-noirs-1-Peyo/dp/2800101083
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Black_Smurfs
WTF?
See, and I thought they already made that movie, and fucked it up considerably.
Gah. I loathed that little sexist piece of tripe with those shrill little things.
That said, I hope Hollywood makes that movie. It'll be the next "Underdog." What, you didn't know they made an "Underdog" movie? Neither does anyone else.
aaaahhhhrrrrgggg!
um. excuse me. but this is truly disturbing. thank you, as always ABB, for standing on the front lines of moral decency in this world
and @destinyskitchen: not out of original ideas, just out of faith (and investment) in them...but, eh, i think that's changing. or hope. or um. just read ABB and beat head into wall. whatevs.
Don't worry! everything will be o.k as long as they won't make movie of The Smurfs with Tom Cruise and P. Diddy or something :)
Sure all will be okay. However, there are times when movies that should have been outstanding for some reason come out all screwed up...who knows why.
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