Thursday, March 01, 2007

Pondering attention addiction...

Let's jump right on in...

A Quick series of thank yous…
Thank you to everyone who was able to donate in support of A Bitch’s Birthday Campaign to support PROMO.

Thank you, thank you…and thank you again!

It’s an honor to be nominated…
Lawd, a bitch has been nominated for a Koufax Award.

Well pinch a bitch and call yourself naughty!

Fantabulous.

Moving forward…

A bitch read this shit and it made my afro hurt.

Why in the name of your 15 minutes are over would Posh Spice want to do a reality television show?

She’s rich.

She’s already well known.

Why would someone already famous put themselves through that shit?

Hell, a bitch is still trying to figure out why anyone puts themselves through that shit!

I’ve come to the conclusion that attention is addictive. Mmmhmm, I think some people get addicted to attention and will get their fix by any means available!

This bitch is a people watcher and I’ve actually seen this attention addiction in action. The drama hounds…and we all know one…who can’t seem to go a week without something mean/unacceptable/outrageous/devastating happening to them that turns out to not be all that mean/unacceptable/outrageous/devastating after the over the top yet amazingly lame recounting of it.

Ugh.

Drama hounds start conversations with deliberately vague statements that beg for the “what happened?” and “are you okay?” response from their target. You can sure as shit trust that a bitch is not the one to enter into a lengthy discussion about whether or not management should be contacted over the rudeness of staff at some burger joint. And Lawd knows drama hounds wouldn’t know rude if it jumped up and bit them in the ass.

Pause.

Come to think of it, a ass biting incident would be worthy of discussion...but do I ever get tossed one of those during coffee breaks?

Nope. That would be too much like right!

But I digress…

Posh Spice’s reality television deal is proof that Paris Hiltonification is now a global epidemic in need of a cure! Trust a bitch...this menace needs to be wiped out or the world will be overtaken by drama hounds and those who pander to them!

Ratings used to take care of this shit for us, but the masses are clearly in the throws of some sort of Soylent Green effect having been conditioned to consume without question.

Soylent Green is people!

People, I tell you!

Gasp…breath deep…pull self together.

Whew.

Anyhoo, the least Posh and her people can do is add one ass biting incident per episode as penance.

4 comments:

thatfarmgirl said...

Spot on! Why anyone is interested in watching Waxy Spice is beyond me, but clearly -- painfully clearly -- there's a hungry audience out there.

Disgusted in St. Louis said...

<pinch>

Yeah, Posh and Mr. Beckman may be rich (especially with his new $250 million soccer contract), but I'm sure $25 million for 6 episodes (I think that was the deal) has a lot to do with it. Of course, her agent was shopping the proposal around going for the highest bidder. I bet that works out for her earning more per episode than he gets per game. ;^)

~Macarena~ said...

I was fine with the Beckhams when they were overseas, but their move to L.A. is a harbinger of mob-media on an unfathomable scale.

Attention makes people feel they matter. Rolling around in cash isn't enough - they need to be watched by people who've never seen that much cash or cards w/ no credit limit.

pat said...

Wait, okay, if Posh Spice is eating Soylent Green, then at least she's eating, and that's...good? But Soylent Green is people, so no, that's not good. Okay, if Posh Spice jumped metaphors and ended up wearing the fur bikini in Planet of the Apes, then Charlton Heston followed her, would that then leave David Beckham to play the role of Cornelius? This is a tv show I would watch. All the time.