Let’s jump right…hold it…well hell, my ass can’t jump for shit with this foot/ankle/lower calf pain-based drama I’m dealing with.

Shit!

Fuck it all…shall we begin?

A note on injury…
This bitch tries to learn something positive from incidents and this recent sprain from the depths of hell that has taken over my lower right leg is no exception.

Getting from my house to the car…up stairs and downstairs…to the drug store to get the pain/inflammation meds my ass is luck enough to have health insurance cover…hell, navigating the daily shit that is life is a challenge I no longer take for granted.

Mercy!

Moving forward...slowly and with great caution...

This bitch will be in Jefferson City tomorrow to get my lobby on with PROMO!

If you have never participated in a Lobby Day this bitch highly recommends it. I learned more about the reality of politics in one Lobby Day than I learned from hours of The West Wing (wink).

If you have never spoken to your state representative or senator this bitch suggests you push away from the computer, pick up the phone and then proceed to reach out and touch those elected to represent you.

Be prepared to talk about something, though. Know which body of government is responsible for what…otherwise you’ll be bitching at a senator about an alderperson based problem.

Pause.

But fuck it, mayhap the senator should know that the alderperson isn’t doing shit about the trash in the alley behind your home…blink…as a matter of fact!...

Blink.

My bad!

Anyhoo…

My individual responsibility as a citizen is to vote and to provide citizen oversight. That’s right; we the people have an oversight role to fill too! When I teach my voter education classes I instruct my students to vote from a place of knowledge but that voting is only the beginning.

Citizen to elected official interaction is not limited to election years, y'all!

Nothing pisses me off more than when folks act as if government happens to them. Government can only be of the people if the people (yeah, you and me damnit) get up in the face of government and hold it accountable.

Or run for office our damned selves!

Cough.

Trust a bitch; Lobbying is an educational experience not to be missed.

Shark-fu’s How to be a Lobby of One Rant…

Get to know your issue - Please don’t go firing off at some elected individual with the facts all fucked up. I’ve actually talked myself down from mad more than once simply by researching a topic prior to meeting with my representative.

Amazing!

Get your learn on and then get your lobby on.

Know who else is working the issue - For the love of all that is logical, do yourself a favor and find out who is working on what, who has been working on what, and who plans to work on what prior to meeting with anyone. Nothing screams ‘out of touch idiot who likes to hear themselves talk’ more than a citizen going off about what hasn’t been done when the fact is she wouldn’t know what had been done if it jumped up and pinched her cheek.

Cough.

Know voting records - A bitch likes to pull my representative’s and senator’s voting records prior to meeting with them. If they are newly elected, I pull out their campaign material. Explaining why the hell they did what they did or didn’t do what they said they would is their job…you are the boss…and they are required to be answerable to we the people. To be honest, I’ve had a few of my reps correct my ass on the who what when and where of a vote so don’t assume that they are wrong until you talk to them.

Follow-up - A bitch is all about the follow up. We don’t get a pass on the oversight thang, chil’ren! If a vote was pending then let the politician know what your thought of their vote. Tell them thank you when they do the right thing…tell them why when you think they did the wrong thing. Follow the hell up or your rants are worthless and easy to disregard.

Ask the question -If your elected official is on the right page ask them what you can do to help them. Trust a bitch, there is plenty to do and a lot of what is undone was ours to do.

And finally, tell the story - Tell your family, friends and co-workers about your experience. If your lobbying was a great experience let folks know. If you were met with dismissive disdain let everyone you meet know that too. Add your personal insight to the media blitz of bullshit about a candidate. This bitch trusts the opinion of folks I know far more than a glossy assed mailer anyway!

Okay, I’m off my soapbox for now.

As I mentioned I will be in Jefferson City tomorrow getting my lobby on and that place had best be crutch friendly or a bitch is going off!

Lawd, give me strength...