Why does it feel as if this has been the longest week ever when a bitch had two days off?
The cake is fantabulous, if a bitch can be so bold as to flatter myself. It’s the perfect cake for tea time…yummy and butter-based…lemon-esque joy! Give it a try and let me know your thoughts.
A bitch slept five straight hours last night, which is pretty damned good for me. Looks like the no-lozenge after 12 noon non-smoking technique works.
The cravings are getting less desperate, but a bitch is going to miss those lozenges…really, really miss them.
Pulling it all together to move forward…
A bitch has been pondering bullying. Lawd knows my happy ass experienced my share of asshole inspired bullying back in the day. Since starting this blog folks have attempted all manner of comment based bullying, but years of bully interactions have hardened a bitch to that shit.
Shit, a bitch has made a study of bullying as part of my ongoing inner work (wink).
Bullying is a sickness too many of us are exposed to. It can be crippling…it can result in self destructive behavior…but it sure as shit is not a disease without origin or treatment.
A bitch was bullied throughout Grade School and Junior High. My tormentors were clever little shits who chose the bathroom or the playground to do their damage. Usually it was verbal, but every now and then they beat on me for a change. As a result, this bitch used to go the whole day without going to the bathroom…drama...and hover near the door rather than play at recess. My reaction was exactly what they wanted…they thrived on my tears and sought power through my pain.
Years later, the wee tormented bitch of my youth had grown into the angry defiant woman of my teens. I sat in a class in High School with one of my childhood tormentors and she looked almost normal to me. She didn’t even recognize me as the child she had dedicated herself to making miserable every fucking day, Monday through Friday, like a devout Catholic attending daily mass. The memory of seeing her sitting there is beyond fresh in my mind…the blond hair, the vivid blue eyes, the tinkling laugh and the absolute confidence that the crimes of her youth would never dare to visit her later in life.
A bitch, being a true bitch, waited. We were studying biographies and she was an active participant in class. Every time she opened her mouth I wanted to jump up and slap the shit out of her. Honest! And a bitch is not a violent person…my ass is not naturally non-violent in a peace loving all the time never even thinking about swatting someone in the back of the head kind of way, but slapping a classmate across the face has never been typical behavior for me. It was disturbing.
Anyway, we arrived at the Autobiography of Malcolm X in our course work.
ABB’s Childhood Bully…"I just don’t understand racism in any form and I found Malcolm X to be racist! Just because someone treats you wrong don’t mean that you should respond that way. ”
This bitch leaned back in my chair and cocked my head…picked up my pencil and coughed politely…"I’m amazed that you are unable to bring a strong understanding of racism to this discussion. As I recall, your feet were firmly planted on the racist path when we were in Grade School together. Perhaps you could enlighten us all on the nuance of your beliefs at the time…you know the ones that inspired you to call me a black piece of shit and tar baby daily?”
The teacher, having what looked to be a convulsion…"I don’t think that is relevant!”
ABB in response…"I disagree! I really don’t see how y’all can expect me to sit here and discuss whether Malcolm X was or was not a racist with a person who, less than 6 years ago, comfortably rolled the 'N word 'out towards me on a daily basis. I find this angle highly relevant.”
All hell broke out…that stank heifer ran out of the class in tears…my teacher demanded an apology…this bitch demanded one for the years of verbal torment and a guidance counselor had to be called in to mediate.
A bitch felt better having addressed it...and why the hell should I be the only one uncomfortable in the room. My ass never signed a forgive and let live waiver on that shit.
This brings me back to the present and the issue of bullying in schools. For our actions there are reactions…that’s one of the most important lessons adults can teach the young. The how, what, when and where of that reaction is out of our control…which is why we should treat each other as we would be treated.
Of all the lessons we should strive to teach at school this one is so vital that it boggles the mind that anti-bullying policies are still lacking structure...if they exist at all.
This bitch is reminded of a story that hit the news several years ago. A mother pulled her child from school and began home schooling him because he was manifesting violent behavior towards his peers. She wanted to give him some distance with his therapy…and to show him that there was no limit to what she was willing to do to help her son heal and thrive.
A bitch has always wondered about the reaction to that action.