Chief Justice John Roberts passed out on a dock in Maine yesterday after he had a seizure. Specifically, he suffered a benign idiot pathetic…pardon me, idiopathic seizure...cough...and then fell the fuck out on the dock at his summer home (must be nice) in Maine.
A full neurological exam found that Chief Justice Roberts is still a knavish ass but he does not suffer from any apparent disorder. However doctors are concerned about high levels of Assholia Judgementica Maximus Wrongitis found in the fluid surrounding his brain.
Oh, and Roberts also has a history of randomly pass out.
Media reports mentioned that Roberts claimed his health was “excellent” whilst being confirmed as Chief Justice.
Blink again and then fluff Afro.
But if he’s being as honest about his health as he was about his belief in stare decisis it would appear that the situation up in his brain is actually fucked up from the floor up.