Friday, July 20, 2007

Breaking News - Dickie C. to take the wheel…

Oh, my sweet Lawd have mercy on my soul!

Scooter B. is set to undergo a Full Couric (wink) tomorrow and…

Wait!

Are you sitting down?

Okay.

Vice President Dick Cheney will take over Presidential powers whilst Scooter B.’s colon is scoped!

Lawd!

Oh, noooooooooooooo!

Shit!

Okay….okay, okay….a bitch needs to calm down.

Gasp!

Lawd!!!

Okay…okay, okay…I need to check my 'the world is going to shit and the end of days is upon us' check list.

Water?

Check!

Smarties?

Check!

Map to Canada through multiple routes including rural Vermont & Maine?

Check!

Dawg kibble and snacks?

Check!

Baseball bat?

Check!

Cool.

Everything is cool.

A bitch is beyond prepared!

Blink.

What?

Well, shit. There’s no telling what drama Dickie C. can bring about in two to three hours plus recovery time!

Think ‘bout that before you mock my check list complete with kibble and Smartie-based joy.

Mmhmm.

Trust that a bitch won’t be the only one sleeping with my baseball bat tomorrow!

Logs off to call Brother Rob and confirm the location of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks flee to bunker…

6 comments:

Kamrin said...

Got my bat, gas to reach Canada, duct tape, and Benedryl for the kids (drive to Canada). Send me directions to the bunker and I'll meet ya'll there!

Disgusted in St. Louis said...

So, what's the big deal?

Overwhelming evidence proves Dick "Dick" Cheney took over Scooter B.'s Presidential powers on January 20, 2001 --- that is why I always refer to it as the Cheney Misadministration.

Ellie said...

I think there is an easy way to avoid this - don't use anesthesia!

Leota2 said...

I now know why my walls started to bleed a few hours ago and the clocks are running backwards!
Any room in the bunker? Should I bring mutant repellent?!

Maya's Granny said...

Has this ever happened before? Has any other vice-president ever been handed this power while a previous president had a medical exam? Or even surgery?

Doralong said...

The Big Dick has always actually been in charge, true.. But tearing the mask of that charade might make it get even uglier.. gotta go fill up the tank and make sure we have kid and dog meds, just in case.