Eureka!

A bitch thinks I’ve figured out why Paula Zahn has become the race baiter of CNN!

This morning I was flipping channels whilst sipping a truly exceptional cup of coffee when I accidentally clicked onto CNN (a bitch has been trying to cut down because commercials for Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace followed by commercials for Zahn’s race baiting topic of the moment make me hive-ish).

Cough.

So, CNN popped onto the television and a commercial for Zahn’s Wednesday episode came on with the following sensationalized to the point of being comical voice over…

“You say you’re not a racist but all of your friends look the same. See if you’re guilty of self segregation!”

Mmmhmm, for real!

Suffice it to say, “Racism” and having a lot of friends who look a certain way being equated made my afro hurt.

It was downright sad to hear that “why do all the black kids sit together...you must hate white people” bullshit coming from the network that Bernard Shaw helped build.

Then it hit me…Zahn’s bait-heavy body of work points to one thing!

Paula Zahn’s black friend kicked her ass to the curb without a proper “I never could stand you because…” explanation.

Blink.

You know and I know that Paula had at least one black friend. My guess is that she was friends with a sistah and danced on her nerve about once a year, but not often enough to prompt a curb kicking to.

Then Paula went there over something and sistah-friend had enough and let her foot do the talking.

Shit, even a society sistah has her limits.

So, Paula got kicked to the curb which brought up all of her unaddressed white guilt issues…which explains her hate that hate built Morton Downey Jr. meets Geraldo Rivera's show during the late 1980s race baiting just ‘cause she can programming of late.

Or she could simply be working the stroll for some ratings...and everyone knows that intellectually lazy explorations of race in America are the 6 inch clear high-heels of news programming.

Blink followed by blink.

A bitch is going to try to intervene!

Dear I used to be Paula Zahn’s black friend before I had enough of her bullshit and kicked her to the curb,

Girlfriend please!

I know this would be a huge sacrifice. Okay, so she asked if she could touch your hair…got drunk and slobbered on and on about how she didn’t have anything to do with slavery and her nanny growing up was black…oh, and then made that comment about watermelon...

Okay, Paula Zahn is an asshole and you had more than enough reason to kick her narrow bony ass to the curb.

I’m not saying you have to be her friend again…you just can’t leave shit undefined. Turn on the television and witness what a lack of ‘why I kicked your ignorant Ann Coulter in training right down to the unfortunate ink black roots on your head ass to the curb’ clarity has wrought!

I need you to pick up the phone, dial Paula’s number and explain to her why you won’t be picking her for the kickball team ever again!

Do it, for the love of a network that has debased itself enough already (Glenn Beck? Oh, c'mon people!).

Oh, what the hell am I saying?

Fuck it, girl.

Leave that trash where you kicked it and give the gutter something to look forward to...