Monday, February 05, 2007

Puppy Bowl, ads and a note to Congress...

A bitch caught the big game yesterday!

My ass had dip and chips on hand…several vodka crans…and gave TiVO a workout.

What?

Shit, if you're not quick with the TiVO you could fuck up and catch some football by accident (wink)!

Anyhoo...

C-Money stumbled upon Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet, which was disturbingly entertaining.

Blink.

This bitch thinks it may be time for a vacation.

But, we did manage to catch the Super Bowl…well, okay we caught the ads…and Prince’s half-time extravaganza.

All I can say is fantabulous!

Pause.

Prince…not the majority of the ads.

The best reviews earned from the most expensive 30 seconds on television were for amateur spots produced through a Doritos promotion.

Way to go Doritos!

Ouch to the rest of you motherfuckers.

Ouch once more with feeling!

Sigh.

But hey, a special congrats to Subaru & Bissell for scoring those Puppy Bowl III sponsorships!

Nice.

Moving forward full of puppy based happiness and joy…

A bitch would like to speak directly to Congress for a moment.

Ahem.

I know that there has been a certain lazy and corner cutting atmosphere on The Hill for the past several years, but what’s about to happen…these hearings and debates about all manner of things…is what you should have been doing when you were indulging in the most irresponsible rubber stamp-a-thon in recent American history.

Blink.

Oversight is your job, motherfuckers…and it’s important. If you need proof, just look at the shit storm you're fixing to debate how to get out of!

Sigh.

So, cease fretting over open hearings.

Congressional hearings are supposed to be open, motherfuckers!

Stop getting all worked up because a colleague has threatened a filibuster.

Filibusters are part of the game, assholes! Shit, a bitch plans to pop some corn and see how long the damned things can go.

The Prince of Darkness, Senator Thurmond, set the time-based bar high whilst taking the Senate low during his historic fear of a black planet filibuster.

But worry not!

There are only so many ways to say "I don’t wanna" and "make me" in English (wink).

Oh, and when you’re through with the escalation drama and debates take a good look at the budget.

Come on now...this oversight thing is serious bitness!

Time to order out for pizza and get your asses in gear, people!

Shit.

Cheer up, for the love of all that's holy!

At least there'll be no more worrying about how to fill that new Monday through Friday work week up...

2 comments:

Huntington said...

English is such a funny language. For example, we have a word for when someone fails to see something right under his/her/their noses: it's called an oversight. I wonder sometimes if Congress just got the definitions mixed up.

It's Me, Maven... said...

I don't understand how Prince had his hair all wrapped up (I assume to protect it against the rain?), and then towards the end of the halftime show, he took it off... and naturally it was starting to look like a rat's nest...

I felt sad for him.

Didn't anyone ever school him in avoiding getting his hairdo wet, after using a relaxer?

Signed,
Mz. Jenkins