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The thing is legal parental rights differ a lot from emotional connections and a bitch can personally attest to the fact that the emotional bond can be long severed while that legal cord remains firmly attached.
Ahem.
I am estranged from my mother.
Pause.
Shit, that sounds way too soap opera dialoguesque!
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My mother and I do not talk…have not for years. She is my only living parent, my beloved father having died several years ago. But she is toxic and I decided long ago that the gift of life doesn’t guarantee the giver an emotional target.
I’m working on understanding the why of it all, but this bitch learned years ago that everyone can’t wear yellow.
My mother and I are estranged.
Most people do not hear that sort of thing very well. They struggle to fit it into their view of the world.
“I’m so sorry to hear that!”
Why?
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I’m not.
Not continuing a relationship with my mother was the best thing for me. I do not miss the relationship I let go of. What I miss is the fantasy relationship…the mother myth of what could have been. I no longer delude myself about what should have been...everything happens as it should and for a reason.
Anyhoo, I’ve watched the Anna Nicole Smith post-mortem legal battle from the angle of the estranged and it woke me the hell up. The emotional break from my mother took years to accomplish and once I took that final step back I still had the baggage of having done it to deal with.
What I hadn’t thought of was the legal connection that remains and what that might mean.
Shit, no one wants to think about their death (shudder)…but watching people fight over a body for weeks is some serious motivation!
What?
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Yes, a bitch is broke…but let me assure you that my people would fight like rabid beasts over my decomposing broke ass out of spite and what this bitch suspects may be genetic bitterness.
Estrangement is strange and complicated.
And the legal business of dysfunctional families has been a money maker for years.
Blink.
Makes a bitch wonder why functional families were ever considered traditional…