I journeyed to Ozark country to participate in a strategic planning retreat. Now, anyone who knows this bitch knows that my ass hates to drive long distances. Some of that is based in fear…the rest has to do with despising public restrooms (wink).
Anyhoo…
I made a promise to myself years ago to confront my fear based avoidances whenever my brain decides to acknowledge one…which is why this bitch hit the highway
solo Saturday morning.Mmmhmmm, just a bitch and her Cabrio.
Mercy.
The drive took me over 3 hours each way (a bitch drives slow as hell and had to stop to purchase apple butter)...and it involved both Highway 70 and 54, which took a bitch and her car through some beautiful hillified parts of Missouri.
A bitch learned a lot about me through this exercise.
Shit a bitch learned about her own self while driving to and from Ozark country...
#1 My nerves are bad as hell and are that fact is only made worse by long distance driving.
#2 The Amish make fucking awesome apple butter!
Yum!
#3 The Ozarks are beautiful…there is a lot of pollen…and there are a lot of trees…oh, and that lake too.
And finally…
#4 Miss Sister Girl Cabrio gets the shakes when you take her past 60 mph for more than 30 minutes!
12 comments:
MSGC may get the shakes, but she looks so stylish regardless, and besides, driving slower is more fuel-efficient.
My brother joined the Amish church. They make great maple syrup.
LOL. Sounds like Cabrio girl needs an alignment! Or even just some tire rotation, balancing . . .
I am soooooooooo jealous of your cabrio. Ever since Laura drove one in Remington Steele, this gay boy wanted one. Damn. Just another way that ABB is cooler than me (and probably was also too cool to have watched Remington Steele). **Sigh**.
Driving is therapy! I used to work on my cures for cancer and the common cold between NYC and Virginia. 6 wonderful hours where nobody could get to me. Singing at the top of my lungs. Freefreefree.
How can you evince nervousness in that cute little car?
Jeff...Yeah! Fuel efficient! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Homer...If the maple yumminess is anything like the apple butter this bitch is sold!
sunrunner...rotation, huh? You may be right on target with that...a bitch shall check it out!
gayprof...all the cool kids watched Remington Steele!
Think of me flying about town with the wind in my afro and R&B on my radio....wink!
why you got to be a "bitch"? THAT shit is tired.
Oh, you must be new Anonymous.
And why are they always Anonymous?
Why?!?
Anyhoo and for the record...
A bitch gets to be ANYTHING I fucking want to be...and it never gets tired.
That's why you're leaving Anonymous comments on a bitch's blog...that's just how not tired my shit is, baby.
Toodles!
We have a cabriolet sitting in our garage...she needs major work...and I miss it sooo much.
That landscape is beautiful. This bitch would love to ride my bike through those woods and country roads.
Just remember, when Miss Sister Girl Cabrio is shaking, what she is really doing is laughing at the SUVs passing her by getting 8 miles per gallon. She's also telling you not to let them over in traffic. Ming Vauze, Honda of Destiny, speeds up every time one of them tries to cut over in front of us, and I thank her for it.
FYI, did you know VW has changed the Cabrio to the new Eos? They're cute (not that I'm talking smack about Sister Girl Cabrio or anything).
I'm afraid to stop at rest stops on long drives. I think I won't find my back onto the highway and I'll lose my focus so necessary to the mission.
Post a Comment