A bitch voted early this morning...
Number of campaign volunteers outside of a bitch’s polling spot...8
Number of voters within a bitch’s polling spot at 8:45 am... 5
Amount of time it took a bitch to vote... less than 10 minutes
Participating in the democratic process?
Moving forward full of anticipation over the results…
As some of you know, a bitch is a volunteer. I regularly teach Voter Education classes at local shelters and this bitch always offers to drive those students to the polls on Election Day.
So, my lunch hour today was spent driving four new voters to get their vote on.
Keep in mind that a bitch has taught these young women for several months…so some of the following is evidence of my influence (wink).
Ms. Thang #1 while getting into ABB’s Cabrio…"Why you listening to this old folks music? You know what? You act…”
ABB, cutting Ms. Thang #2 off and channeling my father…”Last time I checked this is my car. You want a say in the music? Fork up some cash. Because as long as my name is on this car note my grown folk’s music is on this radio.”
After arriving at the polls, I told them to go forth and get to it.
Ms. Thang #1 (MT#1) didn’t even make it into the door. A campaign volunteer approached her with a sheet of paper listing names of candidates his group was endorsing.
MT#1…”What is this? Are you trying to tell me who to vote for? You can’t tell me who to vote for! How many votes do you think you get, anyway? Whatevah…I don’t have time for this.”
She waltzed away muttering something about one person one vote under her breath.
I have created a voting monster...I thought to myself and turned desperately to NPR for solace.
After less than 10 minutes waiting in Ms. Sister Girl Cabrio, Ms Thang #1, #2, #3 and #4 exited the polling spot laughing outrageously.
ABB, face hot with concern over how many calls to the NAACP hotline my tired ass was going to have to make…”What?”
MT#2, a fresh faced young mother with dancing eyes, volunteered…”MT#1 just educated that election judge! He asked her for her identification and she told him that she wasn’t required by law to show that until the November 7th General Election. You should have seen his face when she said ‘by law’! Girl, where did you get that?”
MT#1, looking rather pleased with herself…”I read it on that brochure. He should have known better! I can't stand it when people get the rules wrong and try to confuse people."
And so I drove them back to their temporary home listening to them argue about candidates and that tax issue on the ballot…all the while thinking that listening to them debate was better than Meet the Press, Face the Nation and This Week all wrapped up together.
Congrats to all the new voters and to the newly educated voters as well!