A bitch just consumed several yummy wings for lunch, 2 more Sudafed and a Mountain Dew…
My ass is the queen of the world!!!
Oh…sorry…a bitch is a wee bit wired…
Anyhoo, as promised my ass has more to say!
Scooter, the base and who lost whom…
Last night, while a bitch tried to decide which ruthless rod of correction to use to best beat some respect into Karl Rove’s wide ass, my ass sat upon the thrown of correction and enjoyed the soothing sensation of William Bennett bathing my feet in a bath of warm water he had fetched for his Mistress.
Catch up new readers! A bitch has an entire stable of dream-based submissives. Doesn’t everyone?
So, as my ass was saying, Wills had fetched the foot bath water. It took some time, since he was instructed to catch the fresh drops of morning dew from leaves within my dream-based forest of bitchitude. Your ass had better believe he was righteously punished with the relentless rod of correction for taking so fucking long!
As William finished bathing my feet and patting them both dry, this bitch decided upon a long thin leather whip for Karl.
With a single pointed finger a bitch directed Wills off of the thrown and he returned to the back of the room where he was being forced to gently rub cocoa butter into the swollen bellies and feet of 100 pregnant black women while walking on a carpet of rusty nails.
Turning my attention to Karl, a bitch approached him and checked the restraints.
Suddenly Bill Kristol appeared out of fucking nowhere!
“What the fuck? How dare you intrude! This is a bitch’s sacred dream-lair of correction!”
Kristol, ever the warlock, was unapologetic. He soon changed his defiant stance after this bitch slapped him sharply several times.
“Mistress, my deepest apologies. I must beg you to release Karl Rove! The President has sealed himself within the Oval Office and is…oh God…he’s making decisions! Jesus…oh God….” Covering his face with his hands, Kristol began to sob.
A bitch waited for him to collect him self then prompted him to continue with a wicked flick of my whip against his left thigh.
“Ouch…shit! Yeah, ummm, as I was saying…please release Mr. Rove! The President is crazy and stupid and that is a dangerous combination! He will ruin the country!” Kristol whined.
With a single raised palm a bitch silenced him.
“No shit, asshole.” was sighed.
Slowly a bitch approached Karl Rove and removed his gag.
“What have you to say to this, Karl? Speak!” a bitch commanded.
“Mistress, it is true that Scooter is out of control. It is true that he has been fucking up hurricane evacuations, the budget, the war, the environment, and Supreme Court nominations. And it is true that I am distracted, but that has nothing to do with you! Mistress, I have to prepare to testify before a Grand Jury! They are planning to indict me and this is my last chance to avoid a perjury trial. I simply do not have time to peel grapes for you, run the country and think for Scooter. Jesus to God, I am only one man!!!” Karl, spent, collapsed.
Sharply my ass turned to Kristol.
“It seems to me that Karl has his priorities in the right place for once…he has chosen to serve his Mistress. You, on the other hand, are seeking to perpetuate your sick, people hating, and greedy neo-conservative agenda. It’s much easier to critique those in power than to control them, isn’t it? Karl is mine…until they send his ass to jail. You wanted Scooter to be President and now you are feeling the same pain the rest of us have been suffering for years. Leave me!” and he was dismissed from my liar.
Suffice it to say the dream progressed quite well after that. As a bitch woke up my ass was pleased with the world having corrected Karl Rove and William Bennett in one night!
Sipping my morning coffee, my ass was not surprised to see a waxy Bill Bristol on the Today Show blaming the White House’s recent mistakes on a distracted Rove. Basically he was saying that Scooter isn’t qualified to select a nominee on his own, no one on the Right is prepared to trust Scooter’s judgment and Harriet Miers should be a good American and step aside.
Smiling, this bitch admired my fresh pedicure and wondered…is Bush losing his base or has the base lost Bush?