Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Thoughts and Observances......

Birth Video During a Bitch's Breakfast
Why? Why, why, why? Why did they have to show video of five babies being popped out that crazy surrogate woman's belly during my breakfast? Birthing and newly birthed babies are beautiful to those involved in the miracle of life (da Mother, da Father, da Surrogate, da Today Show). My ass was grossed out! I had just fixed up my Cheerios and was taking the first bite when that woman and her opened up belly came on my television screen. A bitch almost hurled fiber! NASTY! And not news. People, this was like watching a baby-producing machine as infant after infant was popped out of the largest stomach I've seen on television since I inadvertently stumbled into the 180lb tumor show on Discovery Health! That was traumatic. This was unnecessary. If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion, edit that shit and show it in the last hour of the show when people have finished eating. Five fucking babies coming out of one exhausted uterus! Why!?!

I'm not in need of re-education. Your ass is just wrong!
A few posts ago, I issued my thoughts on the tobacco-spitting incident with Jane Fonda. This shit was nasty and a biohazard. More importantly, this is my fucking blog and I control who is called out to be killed in this house. Got it? So, I removed a certain incoherent comment. Honey, next time you question a bitch's "edumacation" fucking take the time to spell check. I had to read your shit twice just to translate it and my ass has translated Latin to English with less effort! Dear mystery conservative, I am a black woman, just in case you didn't know, and I will not tolerate "hanging" references in comments on my blog. Shooting, stabbing and general violence, but no fucking "hang 'em high" red-neck rally cry for the longed for old South bullshit! If your ignorant ass needs to think about that then I recommend that you google "lynching" or call up a family member and fucking chat about the good ole days. No one is "fit for a hanging" until I fucking say so! You here me?!?

Get a Blog, Bitch! They's Cheap!
I now believe that there is an undercover army of RNC operatives who roam from blog to blog looking for liberal postings. They approach them much like Mao did the intellectuals back in the day. Is this your shadow governmental attempt to re-educate a bitch? I certainly hope not, because that is a true waste of time. For the record, ABB is a third generation bad assed radical low 'fro militant liberal for a reason bitch. Get your ass a blog, learn to spell and write worth a damn and stop dropping incoherent pseudo-racist lynching comments on my site! Hold it! Step your ass away from the computer! I said back away, bitch! Go to google and get your ass your own blog and link to "your people"!

Public Relations Just isn’t what is used to be...
This morning the first 30 minutes of the Today Show contained an interview with the current White House Public Relations 'ho. I'm a big fan of 70's cults and my favorites are the Peoples Temple featuring Jim Jones and the Moon folks featuring Reverend Moon. I love watching interviews with their followers because they never answered the questions asked; rather they went on and on about how great their leaders are and how happy they are. This looks easy, but try it sometime. It's a challenge to the non-cultist. So, Miss PeoplesTempleJonesMoon was asked how she felt about polls and she launched right in about how "the people" support Bush and Democrats have no plan. Lauer teetered on the cusp of being an actual journalist when he danced around the obvious disconnect between the polls (60% of us think this plan is shit) and Miss PeoplesTempleJonesMoon's neo-con rhetoric (Father JonesMoon...I mean Bush is a good person, he is surrounded by light, he is the second coming!).

There was a time when Public Relations was so masterful that it had a bitch popping Tylenol within a year of a major product tampering. In the golden age of P.R., Vanessa Williams went from a de-crowned kinky freak to a multi-platinum selling artist in under a decade! Now, we have dumb assed cult bitches like Miss PeoplesTempleJonesMoon. Public Relations just isn't what it used to be...

12 comments:

Tiger Lilly said...

What?!?!?! Somebody tried some dumb shit with you?? I know you tore them a new one. What is the deal with ignorant fuckers on the net? I swear, I wish I could bitch slap somebody through the computer screen. Fucking cowards never want to leave comments or anything. I'm 5' tall, and would not hesitate to tear into someone...why come these fools can't be grown up enough to leave an e-mail addy or something? Screw em honey. They are just upset that you can give a good tongue lashing, and can easily prove any stereotype they come up with is based on their own stupidity.

I knew you were gonna talk about those damned babies!! I was laughing to myself getting dressed this morning.

notfornothin said...

honey. do me a favor. stop watching the today show. tbs shows reruns of bad tv that is often amusing in the morning. but, then again, i do enjoy your reflections on their show of the day. nevermind.

Mighty MaMa said...

100% agree with ya. I wouldn't even watch myself give birth, looking at the overhead mirror that is above you in a hospital. Nothing beautiful about a womans stinker squeezing out a babe.

Tiger Lilly said...

Thought you might like this anti-Katie post for the day.

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzz_log/entry/2005/04/27/0400/

BaltimoreLenore said...

"Nothing beautiful about a womans stinker squeezing out a babe."

Lol, ain't that the truth? I sure didn't watch when I had my two (though my husband did). Hell, the midwife told him to go smoke a cigarette after it was all done. That'll tell you just how shook up he was.

Mighty MaMa said...

St. Louis is in da' house! Hey I am from U City. I knew there was a reason I liked your blog. I am now in Kansas City trying to survive in this crack smokin' hole of what they call a city. Over 35 murders since the start of 2005, gotta love it though. Read about the roaches next door to me that I X-terminated. I think that you'd be proud of me Big MaMa.

Clipgirl said...

Join me in boycotting the Today show...at least until they apologize to Cojo.

disgruntled said...

I smell a blog beat down coming on...Let me get my folks...I'll be back.

freespirit1 said...

Baby, I love you, but you can't accuse someone of not using spell check if you haven't. "Seudo" is spelled "pseudo" and when you tape something, you "taped" it, not "tapped" it. You must have been in a hurry, but I check out shit like that! Don't want the bitch you had to check to call you on your misspelled words. Peace!!

Anonymous said...

Baby, I love you, but you can't accuse someone of not using spell check if you haven't. "Seudo" is spelled "pseudo" and when you tape something, you "taped" it, not "tapped" it. You must have been in a hurry, but I check out shit like that!t Designgn

Shark-fu said...

Ouch. And a double correction comment at that. A bitch went for substance but got lazy on the spell check. Anyhoo, ran the post back through but that shit takes too long (gets caught up on words like fuck, bitch, motherfucker and taped) so...fuck it. We'll try to do better from now on. hugs!

fahren said...

I wonder if all those moonie couples are still married?