Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Pondering the Russian spy media frenzification…

Apparently there are masses of Russian spies in American suburbs.

Mmmhmm, the Feds have charged 11 people with being spies for Russia…and news outlets are in love with the angle that these folks blended in and lived among the people in suburban settings while acting normal.

Mercy.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.


Shall we?

Okay, these people have been charged with spying for Russia.  I know I’m asking a lot…and that the press really struggles with this part of reporting…but could someone please try to report charges as charges and confessions as confessions and convictions as convictions?

***cue crickets***

Shit, this bitch can’t tell whether we’ve got spies or folks charged as spies or folks who have confessed to being spies or some guy named Yuri who is in a shit storm because of some unfortunate internet searches.

Then there’s the fact that Russian President Medvedev was just in the country chowing down on burgers with President Obama and that kicked off the did Obama know, did Medvedev know, can we read anything into the way they ate the burgers or was Medvedev sending signals by eating his fries one at a time…or did his selection of a cheeseburger versus a hamburger trigger a long dormant Manchurian sleeper spy who is now roaming the nation on some mission to exploit burger-based diplomacy!!!!

Gasp.

***cue the interviews with shocked neighbors***

Did they have accents?

Were they good tenants?

Did they root for Team Russia during the Olympics?

Mercy.

I don’t know when it happened, but at some point tossing out questions kicked journalism's ass and then hid the body in a closet and took the fuck over.

Sigh.

But I must confess that this Russian spy media frenzy has got a bitch nostalgic for the predictable propaganda of the Cold War…

…and wondering how long it’ll take for Glenn Beck to connect this shit to Acorn.

Blink.

6 comments:

Moi said...

LMAO...my girl. *shakes head* Thanks for this!

Tim Fenton said...

Nah, Beck will connect this to Hitler (remember Lewis Black on the Daily Show saying "Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourette's").

Beck will make the connection because in his mind Hitler and Stalin were sort of the same thing. Stalin was Russian (actually he was Armenian, but that is probably too much for anyone on Fox News Channel), and the alleged spies are Russian, so there is your connection.

Mentioning ACORN might be difficult right now, following the series of revelations concerning the "sting" videos. And the Murdoch empire seems to have fallen out with Andrew Breitbart.

Anonymous said...

I mean really what is there to spy on? I can not think about one secret that is being kept well. We have nukes. Everyone knows that. We have biological weapons, everyone knows that. We are fighting two wars. Everyone know that. I mean really? Spying on what? Of course they fit in . They are white people living in white areas. Duh! What is there to get worked up about? This seems so manufactured.

Anonymous said...

Stalin wasn't Armenian. He purged the Armenians, fucktard.

Shark-fu said...

Ouch, Anonymous...but true.

I'm pretty sure Stalin was Georgian.

Tim Fenton said...

Yes, he was Georgian - my bad.

But, "Anonymous", we don't have to resort to mindless abuse. Or do we?