This bitch has a busy weekend planned.
Fresh tube of MAC Underworld lipstick...check.
Proper quantities of Excedrin for post party recovery...check!
A calendar full of social-based events with fantabulous people...check.
Ahh, how a bitch loves the social season.
On a personal note…
Dear Ms. Nicole Richie,
A bitch had no fucking idea who you were until Paris Hilton of the vacant stare and ho’ish flare Hilton’s splashed your feud all over the television. You soon dropped out of my mind…until all this talk about your thin…very thin…ooooooh, someone get that child some grits thin self hit the television sorta-news cycle.
Ms. Richie...Nicole...I sincerely hope that you recover from...umm, well you say it isn’t an eating disorder…what the fuck is it then?...if you were an infant, they would call it a failure to thrive.
A bitch sincerely hopes that you recover from your failure to thrive!
As an expert in weight gain and holding on to the weight post gainage, this bitch would like to offer my assistance!
That’s right, Nicole! For the low, low fee of $1 million dollars (cash) this bitch will teach you the secrets of eating to gain.
Classes would include…
Cornbread – Not Something to Dread
Grits and Farina – Fun with Butter and Honey
And my personal favorite…
Ice Cream – The New Breakfast of Champions!
Call me, m'dear.
Chil'ren, all this denial and interview based for press maximization denial and then treatment center entrance followed by additional denial of what may or may not be a rather serious thang for a somewhat insignificant celebrity is beyond tired.
Who made these chil'ren fear cornbread?
And why do I give a shit?
Glad you asked.
The other day my mentee, who is 13, asked me if she looked fat. Some boy told her she was and she really, really, really…really, really, really likes him…so "should she loose weight or not?". She followed that up with..."I wanna be thin like ***some celebrity a bitch can't remember***!"
This child is thin already. Her family is poor and food is not always around. Nutrition? Shit. Her body image concerns and response to some young man at school bothered me all the more because my mentee has enough shit going on to add the thin-like-her game to the list.
Turn on the television set…flip though a magazine…listen to the radio…and the discussion is about weight.
Network news anchors manifest split personalities on the topic…this week's diet is featured on Monday while childhood obesity is featured Wednesday with cooking segments scattered about covering nutrition and greed and everything in between.
Layer on the celebrities and there’s no wonder why my beyond broke one meal a day eating and thin enough already to concern me mentee is considering a diet.
If Nicole has an eating disorder, then I wish she would disclose...the public she courted is watching and taking notes. If not...well, a bitch is available for those eating lessons.
This shit makes me wanna holla…throw up both my hands (wink)…and tell the world that cornbread may be a 'sometime food', but the eating of it is not something to dread...