Monday, October 16, 2006

Ahhh, Monday!

Happy Monday, y’all!

C-Money and this bitch spent Saturday shopping for eyeglasses (a bitch can’t stand shopping for clothes…or bras…but distinctive eyeglasses are an absolute joy to search for). We hit several stores and this bitch found a two for one sale at D.O.C. to die for!

In five to ten days a bitch will debut new pair number one.

Pair number two is beyond funktified and may have to make its debut at the HRC Gala spectacular November 4th.

Decisions, decisions!

Sigh.

Debuting new eyewear is the adult version of new school clothes for this bitch (wink).

Moving forward…

This morning a bitch went about my morning ritual of coffee, Claritin, CNN Headline News and the network sorta-news. I’m slow in the morning and the rain didn’t help, so my ass let the commercials play rather than channel switch. The political commercials were out in force, but there’s a new kid on the block trying to frame the Amendment 2 debate.

Note – Amendment 2 is Missouri’s Stem Cell Ballot Thang. A Yes vote supports access to cures resulting from stem cell research.

So, the anti-Amendment 2 camp has finally gathered enough money to buy some television time and…well, let’s just say it was worthy of a remind this morning.

Clearly the anti-Amendment 2 folks feel that the Gawd Hates Clones and Vote for 2 = A Ticket to Hell ads may not work well in St. Louis, because the commercial I saw this morning took a different angle.

A prim and proper middle aged woman is sitting on an old school sofa in a HUGE and elegant living room. A young woman is exiting the room and going upstairs (you can barely see the stairs through the MASSIVE entryway that affords a good look at the equally large foyer and dining room beyond.

The lady on the sofa bids her daughter a good night and turns to the camera. With a sob trembling in her voice she says something like…

Blah needed money for college, so she donated her eggs (gasp). The surgery was PAINFUL and they gave her PAINFUL injections too! And now SOB she may not be able to have children! SOB once more.

Then it switched to that red copy on black screen shit that reminds this bitch of The Rocky Horror Picture Show (wink) and a creepy YOU’RE GOING TO HELL, SINNER voice over....

If Amendment 2 passes there will be a greater demand for eggs to satisfy the demand for human clones to work in the data mines!

What?

Okay, a bitch added that shit about human clones and data mines.

And it ended with…

Who will protect our daughters?

Sigh.

If I follow this argument, shouldn’t all egg harvesting be banned? Or is it only egg harvesting in a world where stem cell research is legal?

Or are the anti-2 folks only concerned about egg harvesting from one woman for the benefit of another?

Sigh.

Sniff.

What a minute!

Is that bullshit?

For the love of all that is holy!

Amendment 2 bans cloning….isn’t about cloning…has nothing to do with cloning…and will not encourage cloning.

Amendment 2 is needed because of the same crazy assed shits who came up with that fucked up commercial want to ban any and all stem cell research...and any medical treatments resulting from stem cell research in the state of Missouri.

Pause.

And why the fuck was that women’s daughter broke anyway? Shit, Mrs. Thang was sitting in a motherfucking mansion, sipping tea out of china with her narrow ass nestled on Ethan Allen!

Refinance, heifer, and toss that child a bone!

Mercy.

Has it come to this?

Do they now have to air television ads all but declaring that the devil is loose in Salem…ummm, err...Missouri and he is hunting your daughters in the dead of night so he can make them write their name in his book and then...oh fuck it, you've seen the play...cough...do they?

Huh?

Has it gone there?

Or can we engage in a debate of the facts?

Whoops, a bitch forgot...this is Missouri.

Sigh.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fu, those specs are gonna be FIERCE! I've seen 'em, y'all. They are bad ass.

- Money

Sly Civilian said...

"human clones to work in the data mines!"

Gah! What the feck?

Of course the solution wouldn't be to make it so that nobody was making that kind of a choice out of economic despair. Capitolism hates them, and they do this?

Wtf?

Jeem said...

I love how the anti-Amendment 2 ads conveniently neglect to mention that research will be done on embryos left over from fertility clinics. These embryos would otherwise be discarded as medical waste.

...so let's see.
1. Do research using material which would otherwise be thrown away; the research may result in new treatments or cures.
2. BAN IT BAN IT BAN IT BAN IT CLONING EVIL BAN IT ROVING HORDES OF EGG-HUNTERS STICKING BIG SCARY NEEDLES IN RANDOM WOMEN BAN IT BAN IT.

Wow. Tough call there.

(/me is also eager to meet the bitch at the HRC Gala...)

Renee said...

Here in Columbia we get the "cloning is evil" ads. So annoying. I can't wait to vote against dumb-fuckery!

Can't wait to see the new specs!

Bill said...

Oh man. My BF used to work in Stem Cell research in St. Louis. I hope it all goes well for you all there.

Anonymous said...

Now I am assuming that you already have the requisite fantabulous sunglasses. I can't imagine you out in the sunshine without your lipstick or shades.

Shark-fu said...

Jeem...a bitch never misses it. A word of caution though...don't just walk up to any black woman and ask her if she's AngryBlackBitch.

Cough.

That's could get ugly (wink).

Todd...my darling, a bitch actually doesn't have shades! I know! SHOCKING! I covet a pair we saw this weekend...very large and NYC society bitch meets Jackie O.

Sigh.

Anyhoo...trust that this bitch never leaves the house without MAC Underworld expertly applied.

Fantabulous indeed!

Anonymous said...

That repulsive ad has been playing late nite on cable channels here in the city. I'm glad you saw it. For a bit I thought I was hallucinating. Nobody else ever saw it when I told them about it.

petitpoussin said...

I'm loving the photos you chose to go along with this. Resistance. Is. Futile.

I've somehow got three pairs of shades now and I'd send you one of mine (just so I could brag about it)... but aviators aren't very society bitch or Jackie O, so...

Anonymous said...

Ha!