Monday, November 28, 2005

Jury duty...day one...

A bitch is exhausted and more than a little freaked out. This bitch was down at the Civil Court building at 8am in the morning.

8 o’clock in the motherfucking morning! Jesus, a bitch is glad my ass didn’t go to law school! Not that a bitch saw any lawyers there at 8 o’clock in the morning…they may have been there, but this bitch could barely see anything with only one fucking cup of coffee in my system and 2 fake-assed government regulated pseudo-Sudafed.

FUCK!

To top it off, they didn’t start calling numbers for hours…HOURS! A bitch could have slept in.

Finally, they call a bitch…then we sit…someone printed off a ton of pages of something…then we were escorted across the street, up the stairs…where we stood…for fucking ever!

Finally, the door opens and we are called in by number, which confused a bitch because didn’t my ass just give you my number? Shit, my fucking number is on this tacky assed badge you are making a bitch sport so that every criminal in the place knows whom to whack once the verdict gets back!

FUCK!

A bitch sat down and finally a very judicial looking judge began to speak…

…about a criminal trial…

…regarding multiple counts of rape, sodomy and abuse of a child.

Oh, Lawd have mercy!

Gulp.

A bitch didn't land on that jury. Thank Gawd! My ass can say that 'cause a bitch didn't get picked.

Justice...unscripted...can be raw and brutal.

Inhale deep cleansing breath...

Soooo…this bitch gets to go back for round #2 tomorrow morning.

Yeah.

They don’t even have doughnuts or coffee….

Sob.

...but they do have a smoking lounge...

Ain't that a bitch?

10 comments:

Qivan said...

I met a really hot guy while doing jury duty.

Cheetarah1980 said...

I've never gotten called for jury duty. Ain't that something? How does one get chosen?

Poppy Buxom said...

I've been called up for jury duty three times and nothing ever happens except I get a shitload of reading done. I've never, thank God, gotten any of that child-molesting rapist talk--I've never even been near a judge.

Good luck tomorrow. If they do call you, I hope it's for traffic court.

Anonymous said...

I had j-duty last week. Got herded into the courtroom, but they filled the jury before I was called. It was interesting, humorous, and sad to see my fellow citizens try to weasel out of serving on a two-day trial. It was embarassing. Ms. Judge saw right through it all, and let said weasels know in no uncertain terms what she thought of them.

I wasn't there long enough to form an opinion about the defendant, but I did manage to form one about the patronizing defense attorney, and was ready to beat him to death with his own briefcase if he didn't stop treating the potential jurors like they were three year-olds.

I'm glad you're there in the front lines of our judicial system, lady B. Our system needs more people like you working to keep them honest.

Brick City said...

I was called up for jury duty earlier this month. We did a lot of sitting around, and then the criminal trial we were going to hear ended up being called off because the guy decided to plead guilty.

So I was denied any courtroom theatrics, which kind of sucked, because I'm one of those rare suckers who was actually kind of looking forward to sitting on the jury and seeing how the system works.

Good luck today

tigerlilly said...

I've only been calle donce, and that was recently. I got the notice in my PO Box 2 weeks after I was supposed to be in court and a month after I moved from DC to Maryland. I hope I don't get fined or something for not showing up. That would really suck...getting screwed again by DC after I moved out.

I was fortunate to have only been in a courtroom once and that was for a stalking case with this African kid who threatened to have someone "take care of me". Hope you get something "fun" like that. It only lasted a day, and I got a restraining order that lasted a year...Gawd, I hope I don't see that kid on Metro again!

Maidink said...

I had JD back in August. That was hell on Earth - high temps and all included.

You have to go back? Yuck. In Philly it's one day or one trial. And that's every two years.


Multiple counts sexual abuse on a child? I'd spare no mercy on the bastard. Douse the genitals with honey and sit their naked ass on a fire ant mound. For 24 hours. While tethered.

Sorry. That's the mama bear comin' out of me again.

Anonymous said...

Ahh, jury duty.
I had JD on my 40th birthday. It, too, was a sexual assault case. "Statutory sodomy" they called it. Some adult man allegedly digitally raped his neighbor, an 8 year old girl.
During the juror qualification process, I got to stand up in front of 70 strangers and tell how I was raped in college. Then the charming weasel of a defense attorney raked me over the coals trying to find out if I could be "objective" on the jury.
I didn't get selected. Funny thing is, I think I actually could have been objective.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, ABB. Love your blog!

It's Me, Maven... said...

Just got back from a long after Turkey Day weekend... Your blog was my first stop:)

Glad you got out of JD; however! One thing I don't think many folks get about those tacky badges isn't to make you a walking bulls-eye for the criminals, but to identify you so if you walk thru the halls and an attorney is talking to their client, they shut up when they see you, so as not to taint the jury pool.

Just thought I'd share:)

Anonymous said...

My sister has the best jury duty story EVER! She really wanted to serve on a jury, figured it was her duty to God or something. Her case was about a man who was out driving at 2 am and he was accused of driving drunk. My sister actually told the judge that she should be on the jury because she knew the guy was guilty. The jusge asked how she made up her mind before the case was presented and she replied that any family man out at 2 am was guilty! She still doesn't understand why she was dismissed.