Wednesday, November 02, 2005

You wanna piece of me...?

Well, it seems that a certain Senator Harry Reid got fired up yesterday!

Senator Reid called for and got a closed session to discuss how the White House misled the Senate on the case for war. It appears that Democrats are searching for a way to save face on the war based on the new spin that Scooter is a lying sack of shit.

A bitch adores a good political brawl and Harry (we are so close, but he doesn’t like to brag about it) decided to kick this one off with a surprise fuck you on the Senate floor! The session was closed and, from what this wee little TAX PAYING FUCKING CITIZEN was able to garner, the Senate agreed on…oh my GAWD…a timetable!

Hold on a minute…let a bitch catch my breath.

Jesus, can y’all just imagine what would have happened had these motherfuckers called from a special, super-special, deep cover, closed executive session…before the war!

Anyhoo...

This bitch indulged in a nice closed executiev bitch-session of FUCK YOU FOR GETTING INDIGNANT NOW, ASSHOLE followed by WAY TO CALL THEM OUT AFTER YOU RUBBER STAMPED A FUCKING WAR.

Sigh…good times.

Post scream fest, my ass settled down to find out just what everyone is saying went down.

Republican spin…
This is a stunt! We told those gay loving, abortion having, minority adoring, Spanish is the new English fiends that we were moving forward two days ago. They are such assholes! How dare the utilize a power granted to them by the Constitution to make us look like the foot dragging war mongering money hungry shits we are!

Democratic spin…
Now y’all can see just how much of a fucking fit we have to pull to get anything done around here! These people are crazy! IN-FUCKING-SANE! And they control the House and the Senate! Heaven to Earth and back again, all we want is an investigation into the sexed up…that’s the word the Brits used, wasn’t it…yeah, sexed up case for war. Oh, and we need that motherfucking investigation to wrap up right around the elections of 2006!

Oh, and hey Scooter…you lying sack of shit! No way we’re taking the fall for this shit!

ABB’s Spin…
Didn't Congress already investigate this shit? Or was that just a British faux-investigation?

Fuck it! This was quality television! Harry was all flushed and excited. His lips quivered! Shit, he fucking balled up a fist…and shook it!

It just doesn’t get much better than this.

Okay, that’s a lie…if Frist had emerged from the closed session with a bloody lip and a black eye and Harry’s fist was…well…bruised (cause you know that Senator Reid hasn’t punched anyone in forevah)…not that would have been better.

Hey Harry…way to embrace your bitchitude!

A bitch could have sworn she heard you whisper 'shady motherfuckers' as the Senate doors closed…

6 comments:

Hammer said...

HOLLAH!

Chase said...

Good point; I hadn't thought of it that way. I guess have come to expect so little of the democratic asswipes in residence that I actually was shocked and delighted that they got off their sorry asses and did something -- anything! But you are right, they could have done something a lot sooner, before so many people died. I found you from a link on Salon -- good shit! Thanks also for talking about your depression.

Sue Woo said...

One of the good parts was Bill "Hair" Frist whining like my neighbor's 3 year old triplets. Thanks as always for the bitch's perspective!

Pete said...

Harry Reid is a punk ass bitch. The only reason he was TOLD to do this is to hold off the Alito hearings so they can try to find a reason not to confirm him. Dems try to grow some balls, but they will just get knocked down. The Dems ONLY hope is Barrack Obama. The only DEM I personally wouldn't mind seeing getting some power. The rest of them are spineless whiners who are still bitter that they lost the election. Twice. Good, conservative values can not be beat...

Mr. Brian said...

*sexed-up* That must have been the word that got the closed session started and heads scheduled for platterdom. After all, that's what this country is most uptight about. Just allude to sex and they're all over it. It's a shame they didn't think of it sooner. We would have had an impeachment by now on the grounds of Scooter telling the American public to "Suck My Dick!"

Chris said...

Pete, is that you? Or is Turd Blossom laying low and posting on liberal sites now? After all- "punk ass bitch" is sooo eighties!!! And so is talk of bitterness and lost elections. We've moved on darling. And BTW Obama is not your huckleberry. He's a liberal, baby. Did ya know that? Ha