Thursday, November 17, 2005

ABB's Thanksgiving Holiday Preparations...

A bitch is in prep. mode for the upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday.

The holiday season is an emotional one for many, including this bitch. My ass will get worked up about family shit, stress out about the meal and then dissolve into a gluttonous feeding frenzy that will last until 2006. Gawd, a bitch is predictable!

Anyhoo, a bitch is working on the menu. A bitch’s sister, ever the dynamic one in our family, has ordered a turducken. A bitch had never even heard of such a thing, but apparently they are rather popular. Turkey stuffed with duck and chicken and then stuffing. Who knew? Anyway, this turducken will he arriving today.

The ABB Thanksgiving Holiday Menu…

Turducken
Turkey breasts just in case the turducken is foul…pun intended
Corn Bread Stuffing just in case the turducken stuffin' is foul
Collard Greens
Yummy Corn Casserole
A leafy Green Salad loaded with veggies
Some sort of roll-like things
Gravy…Gawd, my ass hates making gravy
Apple Pie…make from scratch by a bitch’s sister
Sweet Potato Pie…made from scratch by a bitch’s sister
Chocolate Cake…made by a bitch’s sister for our brother Bill
Cookies…because a bitch’s sister lives on cookies and makes them with butter

Okay…on to the beverages!
wine
Vodka
Cran
Grape Cran
Soda pop
7-Up for upset tummy
Sam Adam’s Winter Lager (in season and a bitch’s sisters fav.)
Diet Coke
Coffee

Meds…
Excedrin…’cause family will be involved, which means a headache isn’t far away.
Motrin…just in case we get a visit from you know who…
Claritin…every fucking day, baby!
Sudafed…’cause a bitch’s sister loaded up in NYC!
Benadryl…’cause someone will break out from something…

Whew…

Entertainment…
In honor of the holiday season a bitch must have a few good flicks!

Incident at Oglala - The Leonard Peltier Story…so a bitch can keep this Thanksgiving thang in perspective.

Ordinary People…continuing the Redford directorial theme, so a bitch can induce a good moody cry and get it out of the fucking way.

A Christmas Story…oh come on, this is the best movie EVER! You’ll shoot your fucking eye out! Fantabulous!

The Crucible…Gawd, a bitch just adores those Puritans!

Eyes on the Prize…so a bitch can maintain my militant edge.

Hmmm…that should hold a bitch. Keep in mind, my ass has to get some writing in too.

Let the festivities begin!

11 comments:

Tiger Lilly said...

Ah, the turducken is cool, but in the my homeland which has become waterworld thanks to Katrina, you could have gotten a quail stuffed inside of the chicken. And of course, no one fries turkeys like they do at home. Gawd, I love Louisiana (parts of it anyway). Happy turkey day!

Sedie said...

Have a wonderful holiday! Sounds like you're prepared and ready.

Catherine Vocalist said...

I'm hungry now, damn. :)

BarefootCajun said...

As a resident of the land where turducken was born, I can attest to the fact that they are quite yummy.

I'm now officially jealous because my family opted to eat out this year. :-P

thatfarmgirl said...

I hope you got that turducken from Hebert's!

raej said...

my favourite part of the turducken page is where the protagonist says "turkey? big deal!"

what kind of an idiot asshat says that? not only is it rude, but turkey is always a big deal. . .especially if you are being served one you didn't have to cook.

no home schooling for that one, obviously.

Pfirsch said...

You seem to have all your bases covered. It's good to know that somebody is on the ball.

rcknrobin said...

uh oh..a turducken..representin my steppin' grounds!

arse poetica said...

ABB, care to give up that corn casserole recipe? Mmmm...

Enjoy your holiday!

brother said...

Martha Stewart had a turducken on her show a few days ago.

Shit... did I just admit to watching Martha?

Anyhoo... it looked fantastic.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Kim said...

mmmmm...turducken.
the yumminess.