Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Holiday friskitude...

Well, those lawyers took one look at this bitch and decided to settle! Mmmmmhmmm! A bitch is free of jury duty for a couple of years.

Yeah!

Fantabulous, and just in time for Dining Out for Life tonight at Atomic Cowboy. If you are in St. Louis and still trying to decide where to dine, bring your happy ass to Atomic Cowboy and visit with a bitch!

My darling Phaggot, there were no cuties in the courthouse. Sigh…not one fucking cutie for a bitch to flirt with! And a bitch was bored, so my ass would have flirted with a sorta-cutie just for kicks.

To a certain Cheetarah 1980 re: intellegent design…you got what a bitch was trying to say.

Moving forward…

ABB’s Holiday Rant…
Maybe it’s the 24/7 holiday music blitz on the radio…or it could be the rapid arctic freeze that has decended on Missouri…but a bitch is beyond bitchy about the holidays! My ass will go out and procure some Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Yule and Christmas cards. This bitch has to cover several bases. There will be another corn casserole and some ham or other pork-like thing to prepare. And wine…and vodka…and cakes, pies and cookies.

Aside from the mass eating yet to come, this fucking holiday shit gets on my nerves.

The music…The Devine One is probably tired of the music by now! Who asked to hear Jingle Bells, anyway? Make it stop!

The shopping…a bitch is broke! A bitch has been broke! There will be no serious shopping regardless of how many e-mails, mailings or solicitations thrown my way. CEASE!

The hypocrites…fucking assholes trying to get on local news by acting human just because something about December makes everyone fear Gawd’s wrath!

Fuck it! This bitch is beyond tired of this shit!

His Pontifical Greatness, Brother Rob Thurman, and this bitch discussed a possible church activity over corn casserole yumminess this past Thanksgiving. We are hoping to plan some holiday caroling…with bitchitude. The plan is to hook up with an area retirment home and carol for about an hour…then hit the bars for some festive vodka and cran consumption. My Play Husband will have to come up with some music! More details on that to follow…

Anyhoo, a bitch is all about socializing intead of buying this holiday season. Mostly because a bitch is feeling frisky. Well, shit…it’s cold and people look more attractive in layers…or is that just me? Anyhoo, a bitch plans to indulge in some seasonal friskiness, socialization, merriment and bitchitude!

Prepare yourself, St. Louis! A bitch is hitting the town!

See you tonight at Atomic Cowboy…

5 comments:

Blood Ray said...

Count me in for caroling.

Sue Woo said...

Hey ABB!

I always think I look better in layers.

I saw some holiday card with Elvises (Elvi?) shoveling snow. They are multi purpose holiday cards!

Can I just tell you I wa sick of Maria Carey singing carols two weeks ago. I sorely need an ipod. Have a gret time tonight!

Mr. Brian said...

sounds like you got it covered!

Daphne said...

I'm guessing you like imagining what's under the layers more than the actual puffiness of bodies in layers themselves... and the idea of the heat of socialness. My house was very warm on Thanksgiving thanks to three extra people and some good cooking, and that was worth all the extra work. Here's to a social holiday!

Urban Review - St. Louis said...

I had such a great time at Atomic-Cowboy Tuesday night! You rock!