I'm still trying to recover from the fact that a blessing bestowing member of the faithful has posted a comment on AngryBlackBitch! Somehow I never pictured my readers saying shit like “I think Jesus Christ is cool”. But, what the fuck! Welcome oh faithful one! Honey, your comment was gleaming with pristine purity! Glowing, I tell you! Literally fucking glowing on my screen! Glad to hear that you’re jazzed up for J.C.! Take that team spirit and go do some good, son! Make this world a better place, for you and me…
Moving on full of blessings and anointed with the spirit, my thoughts have turned to motherhood. It’s hard to escape the fact that Mother’s Day is upon us. I don’t have a relationship with my own mother, so this is just another manic Sunday for me. My mom is crazy. Not wacky or off kilter. Crazy. With the help of 6 consecutive weeks viewing Dr. Phil and a lot of introspection, I decided that she needed to pursue that path solo.
Not having a “textbook mom” makes the whole mother thing rather mythical. I’ve always admired mother and child relationships that function. And I validate the work of moms. Shit, I couldn’t do it to save my life!
But the debate over the value of “stay-at-home” moms versus “working moms” pisses me off. Too often, this debate is held captive in the bizarre world of choice. Being able to stay at home is a blessing. Too many moms can’t even make that choice, because they have to provide for their children. These moms are basically doing double time. Some are balancing the needs of the household with the potential benefits of staying at home. Others know they can’t afford to stay home and are bombarded by media stories that claim they are harming their chil’ren.
When people discuss the choice of working or staying home it boggles my mind. The moms in my family have always worked outside the home. They had to. Even my crazy assed mom worked, because she was caregiver to my mentally disabled brother. Trust me, there are now four shifts or two adults doing what she did on her own for 12 years. That’s work. Shit, it drove her crazy! She was already half way there and being Super Mom took her over that waterfall.
There are a few notions I’d like to put forth on motherhood.
Stop beating your ass up over the whole breast-feeding thing. Formula is fine and lil’bit will still thrive. If they latch on, good for them. If they don’t, count yourself lucky for not having to pump for six months and move on. Shit happens.
Don’t let some dumb assed non-parent get in your head about what you are doing. You go on and do your thing! If someone has an opinion then tell their ass to go crank out their own baby and try that shit out.
Breast feeding in public is going to freak us non-parents out. Sorry, but it will. If you throw out your breast and proceed to feed, anticipate drama. If I tossed out my tit and adjusted my nipple ring I’d expect much the same.
Motherhood is work. So your ass is a “working mom”. If you also have a job outside of the home you are working two jobs. It’s all about branding. The devaluing of stay-at-home moms starts with the removal of the word “work” from their title. Claim that shit, ladies!
A bitch was raised by many “mothers” along the way. All of them filled the void left by my own crazy assed biological mom's multiple nervous breakdowns. All of them hold a special place in my cold dark angry heart. This Mother’s Day, a bitch plans to toast them and all the moms out there who are raising chil’ren and getting shit done!
Three cheers for all the working moms of the world raising babies out there!