Wednesday, May 11, 2005

When bad advertising happens to dumb ideas...

A bitch woke up with a start at 4:45 this morning. I mean woke the fuck up like I had just slept a full 8 hours. Which I didn’t… and now I’m bitter. Taking this sudden wakefulness as a sign from the Devine One, I cooked up some coffee and caught the pre-morning news. My ass was in the office at 7:30 this morning! I must be getting old. I’ve read that old people can’t sleep. Jesus!

Anyhoo, last night I was watching television (surprise) and a commercial came on that caught my attention. On came a picture of a nice looking black woman of a certain age and the voiceover gave her resume; great lawyer, fantastic person, bi-partisan support blah, blah, blah. Two more pictures with the same resume-like voiceover followed this. Then came the big pitch…

“All of these judges have been waiting for Senate confirmation for years! A Senator’s job is to vote. Call Washington and tell your Senators to do their job!”

A bitch sat up. My head began to hurt. A Senator’s job is to “vote”? Really? Well, that’s a change to the job description! Being a thorough bitch, I decided to look this shit up. What I found, with the assistance of the Internets, was that “must vote” is not anywhere in the job description of a Senator (neo-cons, please reference the Constitution… of this country… which is America).

A senator’s job is actually to debate, deliberate and advise. They are not mandated to vote. Rather, they are instructed to hold to the standard that "a thing" (legislation or nomination) must be worthy of a vote. If only shit nominees are nominated, then the Senate is actually required to not approve them. It's called not giving their consent and advising the President to go do his job... better.... and with some thought. Say a nominee is so shitty he's beyond shit. Then his ass won't make it out of committee. And if the committee puts forth a shit nominee to win the President's favor, because they know that they have enough rubber-stamp members to slide that shit through? Well, that's when the filibuster kicks in. It's the last port before the Titanic goes out to sea, my friends.

Same goes for proposals and bills etc. They debate and deliberate. The only way things get done (and yes, shit actually used to get done) is that the House (the Senate’s wild red-headed cousin) is passionate and constantly kicking shit over to the Senate to deliberate. And the people demand results or they vote the Senators or Reps. out.

The House is like a crazy interior designer and the Senate is the client. The House/Designer must be creative and take chances to come up with something amazing. The Senate/Client must be rational and calm, or their house will be painted magenta and have a fetus shaped pool full of scented lamb’s blood. Change this and it all goes to shit. Same goes for the President and his ideas. Imagine if FDR had been successful in his bid to bi-pass checks and balances by adding something like16 more judges to the Supreme Court.

No, a senator’s job is not to vote. It’s to determine whether something is worthy of a vote, change it if it’s not or kill it in committee so they don’t waste everyone’s time. When an item is worthy (by majority opinion) and not being held up in filibuster (because it's too damaging to let it hit the floor) they vote.

So why the commercial? Well, this bitch blames that shit on "the people".

Yep, the ignorant masses. The fucking knee-jerk dumb-assed shits, and at least one of you shits has posted to my site, who are just smart enough to be dangerous. You know who you are, with your surface understanding of government and your hatred of intellectuals. You fucking assholes are so easy to manipulate that the RNC can produce an outright lie and you’ll actually pick up the fucking phone and call your senator and say something inspired like “Vote. It’s your job!” or better yet, “Vote, or your ass isn’t a Christian”. Like a motherfucker can be declared un-Christian by decree or even not quite Christian enough. And who gives a shit? Nixon was a fucking born and raised Quaker and his ass sure didn’t tote that party line!

At any rate, this all comes back to advertising dollars and marketing being true barometers of how certain groups view their consumer. Based on the fact that a good-for-nothing piece of shit ad just ran nationwide, I’d say the RNC is feeling very confident that it’s “base” is still the same dumb assed no-political-knowledge having hayseeds they were in November. The masses deserve a government with no checks & balances. But my ass doesn’t deserve the country that government will create.

Stupid bad ad creating motherfuckers.

6 comments:

P/O said...

so true. our checks and balances seem to be evaporating at an alarming rate...

Scott said...

I've really been enjoying your blog - smart political commentary with a bite.

About old people and sleeping - there's a condition called ASPS (Advanced Sleep Phase Syndrome) which affects a lot of old people and post-menopausal women. They get tired at like 6pm and wake up at 2am. I wrote about it and the Tyranny of the Morning People.

Shawn said...

Please tell me you write for a living. If not, you need to make that happen.

Your voice as a writer is very distinct, insightful and always entertaining.

Da Professa said...

Amen!!!
Can I get a witness!
The average American was once ignorant but independent. Now we create cookie cutter "good citizens/christians" who are both ignorant and sheep, with no greater goal in life than to NOT be caught outside of popular consensus. To ask them to look behind the words of which ever sheep herder they belong to is akin to asking them to cut off their own d*ck. It just boggles the mind.... (Oops, this ain't my blog. Let me go rant there)

Jürgen Nation said...

I just wanted to let you know that you rock. I mean, really, really rock. I have been enjoying your blog for a few weeks now and it is like my morning caffeine. You seem like a really cool person, kick ass smart and you're funny. I love your posts.

GN said...

The Bush Crime Family is full of shit and taking complete advantage of the fact that someone can graduate high school in this country and not know the simplest characteristics of the Constitution.

One balm: according to Gallup, the public approves of the Democratic plan to shut down the Senate if the GOP goes nuclear 46% (approval) to 35% (disapproval). People might be dumb, but they aint crazy...