First, let me acknowledge that my sister C-Money is the very definition of fantabulous and worthy of a temple full of worshipers baring gifts while singing her praises.
Thanks to her - for being a great nurse…for cooking a Thanksgiving meal so yummified that my back got up ‘bout it (oh no she didn't break out a fancy ass bourgie brine! Oh yes she did!)…for reassurance and perfectly timed threats…and for picking out my Afro and then asking me if I made any boo yet.
Now enough of all that…onward!
The death of Enid…
Last week I had a hysterectomy…my surgeon removed my uterus, which had been overtaken by a mass of uterine fibroids I named Enid, and one ovary that had been taken over by endometriosis.
The war had been going on for damn near a decade, but victory was achieved Monday November 22nd by a surgical team made up entirely of fierce women.
Yep, I scored the Feminist All-Star Team for my hysterectomy…hooray!
Things went well. I lost a lot of blood and required a total of five transfusions (much love to the A positive folks out there who donated blood!!). I’d hoped to keep both ovaries but apparently I’ve been living with one functional ovary for a while anyway, so whatever. Most importantly, I woke up the same bitch minus that heifer Enid...and that's my definition of surgical success.
Nothing left to do now but heal!
Something tells me that my life post-Enid is gonna kick ass…and that’s not just the pills talking (wink).
Thank you for being my friend…
Pause…sip water while readers sing Golden Girls theme song…continue.
A bitch appreciates all the advice and the flood of well wishes…y’all are fantabulous!
Pondering the experience…
Peeing on your own, passing gas and taking a shit – behold, the road to surgical success!
A bitch has never had so many people rooting for me to pass gas and then take a shit in my life…that I know of.
It’s like some secret cult of boo in the post-surgical world! Just when a bitch was about to freak the fuck out, I passed gas and had the funny as hell experience of having grown ass people grin hard and damn near clap their hands upon hearing about it.
I kid you NOT!
Color me twisted, but that shit cracks me up...
...but that may be the meds working their magic.