Thursday, October 08, 2009

For those who get their information ‘bout black folk from conservative media and then try to leave rancid comments here…

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

Every time this bitch does a post mentioning Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh or FOX News a crew of knavish minions pop up and attempt to post distraction-based comments. Since a bitch moderates the comments posted to this blog…for just that reason, ‘cause I can’t stand distraction-based off topic ig’nant bullshit comments…many of them go unaddressed. It occurs to me that at least one of these knavish minions may just be misinformed and…well, a mind is a horrible thing to waste.

So, this bitch is gonna clarify some of the wrongness that has landed in my in-box over the last week!

Ahem.

#1 You blame white people for every wrong ever done since the dawn of time.

That is so not true!

When I write a post about a wrong thing a white person has done (for example, Rush Limbaugh saying that basketball is the sport of gangs) that is not the same thing as saying all white people do wrong things.

Pause…allow slow minds to catch up…continue.

A bitch has a lot of white friends who have done nothing to deserve the insult of having everything Limbaugh says associated with them and theirs.

So, ease thy troubled mind!

When I blame something on all white people I promise I’ll start the sentence off with something like “All white people are responsible for [insert wrongness]”.

Christ.

#2 You are unemployed, have ten chil’ren and are blogging from a public library.

Lawd, have mercy.

I know that over-exposure to FOX television or conservative radio can skew one’s outlook, but c’mon now!

A bitch has a job.

Technically, I have more than one since I’m also a freelance writer.

I sure as shit am employed, not that a person’s worth is determined by their employment and not to validate the notion that only employed people can see bullshit and call it out for the stinking pile of crap that it is.

I do not have chil’ren.

I know…that goes against everything some of you trollish asses have been led to believe about women of color. But if you actually left your mother's basement and got out more you'd realize that a lot of the shit you think is true isn't.

Not only do I have a job…not only am I not a parent…but I blog from my home using the internet service I pay for my damn self!

No shit.

But hey, I am a Simon’s Rock College and Brandeis alum…so the few of you who blamed my brain on an east coast liberal arts education got that one right!

Sigh.

Oh, oh…one more thing!

I don’t like basketball…and I’m not in a gang, unless the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks counts.

Tonight I’m gonna watch my beloved Blues play ice hockey (the official favorite sport of angry black bitches)…

...right after I attend the monthly meeting of the Society of All Black Folk and find out what we're all supposed to believe/want/fear/desire/enjoy/eat/vote for and blah followed by blah and more blah.

Lawd, give me strength.

32 comments:

Hypatia said...

"unless the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks counts."

Ooh, but if it did, I bet those initiation rituals would be fun as hell.

Miss Trudy said...

Shark Fu. You can't talk to people like that. You can't. It's not just ignorance. They WANT to be stupid, racist and ignorant. They aren't listening to reason, and they aren't listening on purpose. Just give them the hand and ignore them.

Tezcatlipoca said...

Rock on with your bad self!

Go Wings! Ha!

Anonymous said...

Comments that attempt to knock you down a peg are really troubling. So what if you were unemployed, had children or were on welfare? Does this really mean that the First Amendment would not apply to you? People really need to think about these thoughts and what they say before posting. It is frustrating to see comments like those left on your site. These people insist on lumping all black people into the same mythical category. In their minds no matter how far the black person gets they are still seen as the welfare queen or the drug dealer. Ridiculous!

linda said...

Speaking as a legally white person (since one who always has to check "other" on official forms since my culture is always ignored) I find you to be highly intelligent, fair and as non racist as one can possibly be. When you speak of key issues and mention names of Hitleresque celebrities, I think you speak the truth and nothing but.
Those who are out looking for race wars will find them under any rock or else they will create them in their sick minds. I am sorry that you are subjected to such nonsense and thank you for bringing the issue up openly.

Delux said...

"You blame white people for every wrong ever done since the dawn of time."

I notice a lot of those sorts are stuck on that, as if it was actually true. Besides, who needs to be angry about [slavery, which they think we are really focussed on every moment of our lives] the past, when the racism we had to deal with last week, yesterday, or this morning is probably pressing enough?

IseultTheIdle said...

United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks.

I'm intrigued by your doctrine and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Oh, wait, I already do.

Your attitude toward the deliberately obtuse subset of bigots is exactly right. Ignore them for as long as you can, then blast them with a verbal water cannon.

Redneck Liberal said...

As a white guy, I'm constantly amazed how many racist euphemisms are easily understood by 'regular folks' but the media seem blissfully (or pretend to be) unaware.

I once commented on a news story saying I liked Obama. The teabaggers assumed I must be black to like Obama and also assumed I must be on welfare. 'Welfare recipient' is one of their favorite shorthands for black.

Yvonne Rathbone said...

Well, I'm a totally white person, but I can never remember my people's talking stupid points. I think I'm supposed to be glad that ACORN isn't hosting the Olympics.

Your gang has sorta-beagles so it's automatically awesome.

Love you.

Memnet said...

...United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks...

Sounds like my kind of church. ;)

Redneck Liberal said...

Hey Yvonne, you don't go the meetings or read the memos eh?

Are you really saying that when someone you know to be a casual racist (we all know them - sometimes they're family) talks about welfare moms or whatever, they don't automatically mean black people? I get it totally. Just like when the same people talk about yard work you can be damned sure they're picturing Mexicans with leaf blowers.

That's their problem with Obama. They think 'president' and they see a white guy.

Shark-fu said...

All are welcome into the UCoB&LDD and we only have one commandment - thou shalt not trifle.

Anonymous said...

I'm a 58 year old white woman in RED Kansas, and I love, love, love your blog, but I'm sorry I don't understand Ice Hockey at all. I'm not sure, but being a Liberal in the Bible Belt must be a little bit like being Black. I'm Proud!!
Just keep on ignoring the Rush Limpbutt supporters. They really don't know of what they speak. You can tell that because they never have an original thought of their own. Only what they are 'trained' to hear and say. It really is like Children of the Corn here. I don't have a personal blog, but loathe being anonymous. Soooo... signed Patty Symonds

Mali said...

I'll be happy to attend the next UCoB&LDD meeting as long as the knavish minions of trollish asses stay home in their mothers' basements.

I absolutely love your insights and your staggeringly snarky use of the English language.

I especially love your bitchitude and want to be just like you if I grow up.

Snarkysmachine said...

Fabulous post. No word, except where can I get a membership form for the church of latter day drunks?

AOB said...

I bet those churcj fellowship meals are something to remember. Sign my ass up..quick.

On another note...I have always thought that a persons blog was kind of like their home on the internet and that behavior there would reflect on how a person behaves at someones' brick and mortar residence on Maple Leaf Lane. Seems to me like these people have had no home training at all or feel that using the anonymity of the internet makes it OK to be mean and disrespectful.

How sad. How disgusting.

Scott said...

[quote:] ...right after I attend the monthly meeting of the Society of All Black Folk and find out what we're all supposed to believe/want/fear/desire/enjoy/eat/vote for and blah followed by blah and more blah.

Lawd, give me strength. [end quote]
Priceless!
Scott in MN

Yvonne Rathbone said...

Redneck Liberal: Isn't learning to see white implicit bias a kick in the head? It can make you so angry you jump down the throat of someone who agrees with you just 'cause they kinda sorta look like the enemy if you squint and hold your head sideways.

And there is no "they". *All* white people have to confront *our* implicit biases. We don't stop having them just 'cause we learn to see them in others. (And in fact all people have to confront their implicit baises and in so doing become more human.)

Tina-cious.com said...

Wha? You aren't unemployed with 10 kids and sittin' at the liberry??

Oh fuck that shit. I'm not comin' to this blog anymore.

What's the world comin' to??

;)

::hi!!::

Redneck Liberal said...

Yvonne, just to be polite, I wasn't mad at you. I just always sound mad when I type. And, true, we're all racist to some degree. I've been talked smack at by racists of other races, and, yes, I got irrational reflexes that I have to put in check from time to time (I'm not a fan of Germans, I'm suspicious of the Japanese for being so well behaved and, sometimes, a joke might be too funny to pass up even if it could be construed as racial stereotyping) but... I'd have to say, as liberals, our hatreds and sympathies are way more carefully considered and have nothing to do with arbitrary factors like race, sexual preference or nationality unlike the "other side".

Nicole said...

God (or whoever you worship at the Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks) bless you Shark-Fu!!

OuyangDan said...

United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks?

Can I get in on that?

Anyhoo...

One thing...I don't see how it would matter if you were blogging from a public library...because I don't get this idea that somehow only people who can spare the cash for internet services should have access. Without getting into a big rant about how information should be free and accessible to people who want to use it, blogging from a public computer at a library should have no bearing on a person's ability to call shit out and announce when they are throwing some hate around. I hate that shit.

No matter how many kids you had. WTF? (None of this directed at you, Shark-fu. I gots nothin' but love for ya)

Dusty said...

Preach it Shark Fu!!!!!!

How I love it when you get worked up woman. ;)

kathequa said...

They are just very afraid that the white race is shrinking in America, and they will do anything to keep a minority down. It's just plain gross! Speaking of keeping minorities down and don't know if you saw this...
http://gratuitousprattle.blogspot.com/2009/10/no-racism-problem-in-america.html

kariya said...

Would love to see an article about obama winning the nobel in such a short period of time

Shark-fu said...

Kariya...
Look for one tomorrow...

Rileysdtr said...

Hey - some of my best friends are white....

Ms. Symonds, if you have never had the opportunity to watch a hockey game in person, do try it "live"; this makes a huge difference. The rules are few and simple - there is an off-side and a "the goalie shouldn't be messed with in his little box" rule kinda' like in soccer. Other than that, there are a handful of penalties designed to keep players from crippling each other - the hard part is learning "acceptable violence" from "truly naughty" kinda' like in lacrosse.

Shark-fu said...

Mmmhmm, give hockey a chance!

Rileysdtr...we took a loss from the Thrashers last night (wince). Some #1 draft pick wonder youth named Evander Kane scored his first NHL goal on us and it went down the toilet from there. Sigh. I've gotta tell you, the kids got skills...but we should have leveled some acceptable violence on his tiny ass after that goal!

ChristopherM said...

Well, we all know that "you blame white people" is the Fox News way of calling you an uppity negro while trying to disguise it as a genuine debate. By the way, the next time you're down at the Communist Community Center attending the monthly meeting of the Society of All Black Folk, pop next door to the meeting of the Homosexual Agenda Planners. Our pot luck is FABULOUS and we have lots of vodka cran for a bitch.

wynsters the tigress said...

well said.

babypowerdyke said...

This makes my whole night.

Valkyrie607 said...

UCoB&LDD???????

Honey, when is the church picnic?

And more importantly, where are the t-shirts, because I need one, like, yesterday.

Seriously, you should put that in your merch line-up.