Pondering the options for opting – A dream-based exploration of health care reform …

Lawd, have mercy!

A bitch has been running around like a crazy person trying to keep up with what’s going on with health care reform. The latest shift in the never ending saga comes from the Senate, where Senators have proposed options and…well, more options in hopes of getting this thang passed.

Since health care reform is all I’ve been thinking about, it comes as no surprise that a bitch dreamed about it too.

Note to the uninitiated – a bitch’s dream based exploration posts are based on my dreams and are in no way reflect reality unless my dreams are reality and this is just a dream.

Blink.

Shall we?

Last night, while a bitch and the sorta-beagles were sleeping, my mind opened up into dreams…

The scene - this bitch is some sort of MAC consultant working with Ms. Sistah Girl Senate Health Care Reform Bill (MsSGhcrB) on getting ready for the upcoming floor debate legislative pageant walking competition where MsSGhcrB will have to WORK! WORK IT, GIRL! to dazzle those cranky Senator judges into doing the right thing.

So, MsSGhcrB is currently in training for the competition and Senators who want to see

her win are swinging by the practice room offering suggestions.

Sen. Tom Carper of Delaware dropped in recently to suggest that MsSGhcrB may want to add some state-based opt-in to her outfit. Senator Carper even produced some samples of what he was talking about – a proposal-based tunic dress that would allow states the option to select to create their own state-based public insurance options if they want to.

But Senator Carper had barely finished his pitch before other more liberal Senators in the room told him straight up that they were not impressed!

Gasp.

They pointing out that Carper’s opt-in tunic was downright unflattering from a lot of different angles and put all the responsibility on those folks advocating a public option.

Well, Senator Carper left the room…more than a little peeved that his colleagues pissed all over his opt-in fashion tunic ‘cause, hello, it’s not like he didn’t stayed up all night sewing it.

While applying MsSGhcrB eyelashes, I overhear several liberals fussing about how they didn’t like that opt-in fashion tunic AT ALL but they are feeling like MsSGhcrB wasn’t ready for prime time while wearing that bland ass compromise outfit Senator Snowe demanded in exchange for her support to get out of committee.

Mercy.

A bitch was just reaching for the glitter when Senator Schumer entered the room…walking rather fast and

carrying a garment bag in one hand and a BeDazzler in the other.

He opened up the garment bag and pulled Senator Carper’s tunic out…the turned it inside out, exposing a whole new pattern!

“I’ve inverted Carper's proposal,” Schumer explained “Now states will have the option of opting out!”

He then reached for the BeDazzler and got about the bitness of bedazzling the hell out of the hem and edges.

"See, now it is a default choice available to everyone! Even if you live in a Red State you’ll start off with the public option and be able to fight to keep it…and you can wear it with or without boots too!"

MsSGhcrB quickly put the frock on.

“I LOVE the color!” she gasped. “And I really like the way legislation would have to be passed by the state legislature and signed by the governor in order for a state to remove itself from the national public plan!”

My heart swelled with hope as MsSGhcrB pulled on a pair of fierce shoes and did a practice walk worthy of Naomi Campbell to a music track mix of Teddy Kennedy’s1980 Democratic National Convention Address.

“Work it, girl!” I called out to her.

“Go on, with you bad health care reform Senate bill self!!”

And then my ass woke up.

Blink.