Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thankful Day Preparedness…

Lawd, have mercy.

The radio stations are already playing Christmas music 24/7 and this bitch is beyond over that shit.

Ugh!

Do they do it to punish us?

Huh?

The thing is, there aren’t that many Christmas songs…and recording artists tend to record the same ten songs and try to put their own spin on it, so the masses end up listening to one hundred different versions of Let it Fucking Snow (shudder).

It makes a bitch hostile as a motherfucker!!

Pause...consider...continue.

Mayhap this will inspire my ass to figure out how to make my I Pod play in Miss SisterGirl Cabrio.

Shit.

Fuck it.

Onward to Thankful Day preparedness!

Newish readers should know that a bitch is all about preparedness, particularly during the holidays. One wouldn’t want to bunker down for a four-day holiday weekend and find out that your ass is out of vodka (gasp!) or that you don't have a damn thing to munch upon.

Blink.

Thus, the list.

Food-based munchables…
Shark-Fu’s Corn Casserole Yumminess
Brother Rob Thurman's Green Bean Casserole
Mama Thurman's Stuffing
Sour Cream Potato Mash
Roasted bird
Bread-based something-or-other
C-Money’s Apple pie…it's mine, mine all MINE!!
C-money’s Sweet Potato pie
Ice cream…to put on the pie, for the love of al that’s fantabulous!
Ryan’s Divine Bread pudding…yumtastic!

Drinkables...
Vodka…duh.
Grape cran…duh to the second power.
Citrus-based soda pop
Bourbon…from Kentucky, natch.
Holiday beer…for C-Money
Diet Coke…for Brother Rob Thurman

Meds…
Allergy pills…approved for high blood pressure because a bitch takes my pressure seriously
Tylenol…because something is going to work my nerves at some point (wince)

Viewage…
Ordinary People…because ‘tis a tradition that puts this bitch in a holiday frame of mind (wink).
Red, White and Blue…if you have to ask then you don't need to know!

Fall-back films…
Watergate
Love Actually
The Exorcist...what?..as if you don't watch it every holiday...shit.

Blink.

Last but not least - for the dawgs…
Kibble and snackable dawg crisps
Chewing bones
And lots of people about to love on them!

Ah, the holidays...happy, happy, happy and joy times three!

22 comments:

Nat said...

Bleu, Blanc, Rouge... some of my favourite films ever. (Had to made sure Hollywood hadn't tried to co-opt that too.)

Christmas music is best in small doses.

Personally I think family time takes something MUCH stronger than tylenol.

Yankee, Transferred said...

Happy Holidays, Shark-fu. I'm thankful as shit that I have encountered you out there in the internets. You have changed my life, seriously.
Cheers!
YT

Limecrete said...

The radio stations are already playing Christmas music 24/7 and this bitch is beyond over that shit.

At least it's kind of the holiday season now. 101.1 has been playing Christmas music 24/7 since early OCTOBER. I was still wearing shorts!

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

I've never seen Ordinary People. (Hangs head in shame)

Have a fabulous Thanksgiving. MMmmmm. Apple pie. Yummy.

The Bear Maiden said...

I think in some places don't they call that Indian Pudding? I've made it before and you just reminded me I'm gonna make that this year...

I too, hate Christmas songs 24/7 before Thanksgiving. Can't you give thanks for what you already have before you start asking for more???

Happy Thanksgiving!

sdg1844 said...

Happy Holidays! I've always loved "Ordinary People". That movie resonates til this day. My family, though a different class and race was very similar in its secrets and silences.

angryblackwriter said...

yu-UMMM! just reading that made me wanna eat. so, in honor of this here thanksgiving day, i offer up something that my ass is hella thankful for:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/11252008/gossip/pagesix/we_hear_______we_hear_140601.htm

happy turkey day...gobble, gobble! [umm, does anybody know what sound tofurky makes? not that i'm gonna eat any but don't wanna overlook anybody] smooches!

Suzanne said...

happy turkey day sharkfu

but i believe bread pudding is pretty forking good - and easy too

Rev. Bob said...

Happy Thanksgiving, A.

The older son is coming from California with his wife, the younger one is here now, the turkey is so huge that the residents of Tokyo breathed a sigh of relief when it met its maker.

Now it's time for How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The real one with Boris Karloff, who says a line that makes the whole season glow: "He couldn't stop Christmas from coming, it came!"

Have a happy Thanksgiving.

Christopher said...

I am guilty of having had my tree up for two weeks now, but in my defense, I did it knowing that otherwise I couldn't get it put up until after final exams finish up two weeks from now. It is probably my own fault that I walked around all day on Monday with "Mamacita, Donde Esta Santa Claus?" by Charo stuck in my head. Have a fantabulous T-giving!

Oh, and by the way, you didn't have the Merciless Rod of Correction anywhere in the vicinity of Ann Coulter lately, did you? Because rumor has it that the lycra cocktail dress full of evil has had to get her mouth wired shut.

jeem said...

Happy T-Day, Shark-Fu! I can't offer any movie recommendations - I'm behind enough on my Netflix queue as it is - but I have a suggestion for connecting your iPod to Miss SisterGirl Cabrio's stereo. If MSGC doesn't have a cassette input, then consider getting something like this:

http://www.griffintechnology.com/products/itrip/

It's a little, low-powered radio transmitter that plugs into the iPod's dock connector and broadcasts on an unused FM frequency. Just tune the transmitter and Miss SisterGirl Cabrio's radio to the same frequency, then hit "play" on the iPod, and you'll have a way past local-radio hell.

Shark-fu said...

Why does everyone think I had something to do with Coulter's jaw?!?

The Merciless Rod of Correction and this bitch had nothing to do with it.

A bitch suspects Sara Palin is the culprit but Elizabeth Hasselwhatever is running a close second.

Ten bucks says it fails to shut her rancid ass up...

jeem said...

I won't take that bet, because it won't make her shut up. It just makes her even less coherent, which is rather difficult to believe.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

Over 30 years ago, my former sister-in-law used make a corn casserole dish. Yours sounds sooo good, and I'll try it tomorrow.

If you want a really good laugh, come read my satire post, Thanksgiving Day Special: Show Ya Love By Effing Wit Their Heads

The Dorm Rat said...

If Miss SisterGirl Cabrio has a tape player, it's real easy. All you need is a tape converter. All it is is a tape with a wire coming from it that ends in a headphone jack. Pop the tape in, turn on your iPod and use the iPod to control the music.

Watch the sound though. It's a good rule of thumb to turn the iPod's sound up to 50% and then adjust the sound using the car's dials. Hope that helps!

Jeff said...

We'll bring a bottle of some grape-based yumminess for post-dinner libations. Are you sure you don't want to bypass all those movies and keep blazing your way through BSG? Just sayin'.

Hahn at Home said...

Can't deal with the XMAS tunage. Don't go places that have it.

Ordinary People? OMG. I am still working on forgiveness and that would just get me all the hell riled up.

Now, Love, Actually - that one I can wrap my head around. Especially the story about the little boy who learns to play the drums to get the girl.

SagaciousHillbilly said...

I can vouch for the BlackLady's corn casserole. We had it for the second year in a row and it is truly yummilicious. We need to discuss my, . . ahem. . . improvements to the recipe.
Who's the kid Judd What'shisname is talking to in the still from "Ordinary People." Looks a lot like a SagaciousHillbilly back in the day. . . a long, long time ago.

10-4 on the x-mas music.

sweetmintyjesus said...

oooooooo! i LOVE love actually =) and there is more vodka in my fridge than food! wait i shouldn't be proud of that should i?

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hey there!!

I haven't been by in awhile... a lot of fire to put out at my blog lately...

Just wanted to drop in and say that I hope you've enjoyed the Thanksgiving weekend!!

The Truffle said...

I was treated to Christmas music before Halloween even rolled around.

Seriously.

I was in the lobby of my office building and on the radio, they were playing Bruce Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." There was a lot of head-scratching, needless to say.

Michele said...

Yo, I have an iPod car hookup dealy that I don't use, you can have it if you want. It plugs into the cigarette lighter. Let me know. Have a good weekend!

-Your favorite coworker