Monday, July 14, 2008

A bitch’s Saturday – the recap…

A bitch got my political canvass on this past weekend.

It was hot as the third level of hell and humid on top of it, so it wasn’t as much fun as could have been. But it was, as always, a rather satisfying experience. If you haven’t volunteered in support of a cause or campaign this year then you need to find something, get off your arse and get to walking!

And don’t forget to bring lots of water and a good pair of walking shoes.

Wince.

Anyhoo, after several hours of canvassing a bitch headed over to the north side to visit my mentee Miss Thang. I’ve been kind of a distant mentor of late because visiting my mentee was bad for my high blood pressure.

What?

Well shit! My mentee is 15 years old, lives with a dysfunctional apathetic parent in conditions I struggle to come to terms with every time I visit her and she still has a hard time thinking beyond next week much less planning for her future. Trust that our visits are not filled with never ending happiness and non-stop joy. Rather, they are filled with extreme realness…and that shit can be bad for a bitch’s still high but under control now blood pressure.

Cough.

Where was I?

Oh yes!

I took Miss Thang to lunch at the Bread Co. and listened to her chat about everything and everyone who has wronged her since our last face to face visit. At some point the issue of a summer job came up and Miss Thang then went on a rant about trying to find a job and how folks don’t ever call her back when she applies for one.

I gave that some thought whilst sipping my iced green tea (yum!) and then decided to keep my advice as real as the situation called for.

Shark-Fu, after sipping iced green tea… “Um, have you ever called yourself and listened to your voice mail?”

Miss Thang (MT)… “Huh?”

Shark-Fu, in explanation… “The reason I ask is that your voicemail is…well, it’s not very attractive.”

MT… “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means that when someone calls you to follow-up on a job application they shouldn’t have to listen to the musical offerings of Lil Wayne then suffer through a long ass beep followed by the music of someone named Chris Brown. If you want to be considered a professional you need to act like one, so I recommend changing that voicemail greeting until you get a job.”

MT… “Oh. Okay. But you don’t have to hate on my future husband like that.”

Shark-Fu, on a sigh and searching for strength… “Which one?”

MT after rolling her eyes… “OMG! Chris Brown!”

Blink.

We went on to discuss some other shit, but damn if I didn’t Google Chris Brown when I got home to find out who the hell that child is.

What ever happened to normal voice mail greetings…music a bitch can groove to and understand the words too…shit, the motherfucking ‘90s?

Mercy.

19 comments:

Lesboprof said...

Damn, thanks for the reality check. As a professor, I am ALWAYS having the same kind of interaction. I have accepted the fact that I am so *not* cool... or whateva it is that young people are supposed to be. That said, I also am glad I am not that age anymore.

So, I googled Chris Brown too and got to hear his latest video--more music than rap. He is cute and all, but that computer-modulated mess makes his voice sound terrible. I did like "Run It", though. I wish I heard a little more of the Sam Cooke that inspired him. Sigh.

L.Jackson said...

Roflmao..I volunteered to teach job skills to 16-18...grin, what joy. Getting through on how to 'present' yourself, correct spelling on apps, follow-up needed, and dressing professional..like I was teaching a foreign language?

WNG said...

Mama G would cut my a** (still at 29 years old) if I had a ringback(the music you listen to while waiting)on my cell phone while I was looking for jobs.
She isn't very educated, but she is a wiz at 'presentation' and she instilled in me that class and hard work are essential.
I'm going to call her tonight and thank her.
Tomorrow I'm going to look into passing on what she taught me somewhere.
Thanks, ABB!

Nicole said...

Just today while going through resumes I went to reply to an applicant and noticed that their email address was a description of their body type and their parental status.

Really?

I almost rethought my reply, but then thought that I would call her in and if she does interview, perhaps discuss it with her.

I mean, really?

bitchphd said...

YOU'RE GETTING OLD, LADY.

Heh. Those kids today.

IseultTheIdle said...

I would not be 15 again for all the green tea in China. When I say that to teenagers I get the "Wha..?" look, but lord, it's true.

Anonymous said...

Oh, girl.

The ad I ran looking for an internet research assistant, must be a professional who doesn't need tech support, back in the late 90s, when everyone who had AOL thought that made them a librarian...

My best of all time response was one that detailed the extensive work experience of a person who was probably completely qualified for the research part of it, except that the child didn't know that replying to 'bootycall73@freemailprovider' was just not meeting my expectations...

You are strong indeed.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...

LMBAO! I thought I'd lose my mind when my own son was between 13 and 18 and could have been that girl's chill buddy. I wrote a little about him and the teen of a friend
Welcome To The Suicide Club
. I think you'll like that article.

The scientist who said the human brain wasn't fully developed until age 21 was on to something... hopefully your mentee's brain will have have a prayer under your guidance. At least you ain't her mama and have to live with her 24/7.

Ro said...

Keep keeping it real.

Anonymous said...

Those two words "Bread Co." made me sick to my stomach all the way over here in New Yark...

NYC prices for mall food court food. Yikes.

Rileysdtr said...

I have barely enough patience to get through the typical "to page this person, press one. If you'd like to leave a message, please do so after the tone." (long pause) "beeep." neutral female voice. And I am a hiring manager... "Bootylicious24601" as an e-mail is one thing; teeth-grinding voice mail tags drives me up the wall and halfway across the ceiling.

PortlyDyke said...

I'm still sitting here periodically convulsing with laughter at this one: "You don't have to hate on my future husband like that . . . . "

Who am I to talk, though? As a teen, I was convinced that I would be sitting at a concert someday and one of my idols would look out and see me beyond the glare of the stage lights and demand that I would be brought to their dressing room. Seriously. I thought that.

Of course, my tastes ran more to Laura Nyro, Patti Labelle, and Joni Mitchell.

On a serious note, she's incredibly lucky to have you, ABB.

Anonymous said...

Yes, very well, but could we get back to how bad the St Louis Bread Co. is?

Are you folks back home in MO such hillbillies that you think that food is any better than a plastic wrapped sandwich from next door at Dierberg's?

Shark-fu said...

A bitch could give a shit, Anonymous.

When my mentee, who rarely gets to make choices, makes a choice I go with it.

That doesn't equal some sort of blog-based restaurant endorsement, you asshole...nor does a sandwich debate appeal to me at the moment.

Get thee gone!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, bitch.

I love you and love reading this blog. And I love St Loo. Just hate that damned restaurant.

But having worked for years with M.R. adults, my hat is off to you for your sense of extending the right to make choices to your "mentee"... respect.

Shark-fu said...

Its cool.

A bitch is just in a vicious mood.

No worries or Bread Co. sandwiches(wink).

Now, where did I put my happy pills?

Nancy said...

Rock on, ABB.

With any luck, sometime in the next few weeks the foster care agency that has been messing me around for 15 months will really, truly, and finally match me with the teenage lesbian mentee I've been asking for since spring of 2007.

And then I'm calling your ass.

Spring said...

I teach at a community college, and the first day of class I always have the students write down their email addresses so that I can create a group list for mass messages.

I love my students, but it never fails that 50% of them have an email address that would turn off any potential employer (and not all of them are the youngsters).

We talk about professionalism in class, but some of them still don't get it after the discussion...or do they just not care?

bev said...

I don't want to add fuel to the Bread Co fire, but there's a sorta connection here between what happened to that formerly local little bakery and another formerly local not-so-little brewery. See what happens when out of towners think they can keep the same panache (or is that the same Panera?)

Anywho.

ABB, you are dead on. Some kids - especially those who come from the dysfunction that passes for family these days - need it told to them directly. I'm willing to bet your mentee had no idea that she was putting off potential employers because no one had set an example or TOLD HER. Except of course, for you.

Thank you for doing what you do, girl.