Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Back off, back up and get gone!

As you may already know a certain Belgian brewing giant named InBev wants to buy Anheuser-Busch. They made a stock offer, were formally rebuffed by CEO August Bush IV (known here as The Fourth) and are now attempting to go around the board to romance share holders into taking the deal and kicking the board to the curb.

Shit.

They want A-B bad…acquiring A-B is like a fever in their blood…they lust for it, for the love of all that’s not going to be taken over through hostile means!

A-B is headquartered in St. Louis…this bitch’s home town. Not only is A-B a huge part of our local identity (note that even this vodka adoring bitch is riled up over the possible ramifications of Belgian ownership of A-B) but they also support a lot of Missouri based non-profits, events and pay-check needing households.

Add to that the fact that the largest export from St. Louis city lately has been jobs (wince), and it should be easy to see why folks here are freaking the hell out.

But the last straw for this bitch was a video posted by InBev on their corporate web site featuring the holiest of holiest A-B symbols… Clydesdales!

Have they no shame?

And who the hell knew they grew them this rambunctious in Belgium?

Blink.

Note – a bitch holds no ill feelings towards the people of Belgium. My new Belgian chocolate boycott is purely an act of solidarity in this battle to keep A-B where it belongs.

Cough.

C-Money and this bitch have come up with a plan. We propose that the people of St. Louis all buy shares in A-B.

No, we’re not kidding.

If we’ve got just under 2 million folks living here or ‘bout the area then we can do this…big time!

We need to get Green Bay on this shit!

And when was the last time some Belgian beer company tried step to the Packers with a hostile takeover bid?

***cue crickets***

Mmmhmm...thought so.

16 comments:

A.evilredhead said...

Hugely off topic but have seen this article?

http://www.newsobserver.com/politics/politicians/helms/story/1135443.html

I AM all for keeping local landmarks and breweries LOCAL

johlufc said...

Well I for one am all in favour of the takeover.Hopefully,the brew would be better than the cats urine, that 'King' Bud is currently producing and masquerading as beer.Besides,why does a takeover come only with negative ramifications?Are your jingoistic comments the result of some some misplaced patriotism? I enjoy and agree with many of your articles but I think,on this one,you are dead wrong.

Kieya said...

You know that sounds like a really good idea.

Hypatia said...

Am I confusing them with some similarly-named family (wink), or has the Busch family been involved in some pretty rancid doings in its day?

woodsba said...

I'm all for keeping American owned companies just that.....American owned.

Some countries will not even allow non citizens to buy property but to lease it instead. But America seems to have a big FOR SALE sign in our front yard.

Anonymous said...

They need to bleach out those horses if they intend to post on the InBev site - there is a specific breed of Belgian draft horse, all grey.

Count me in for a Schlafly, if InBev succeeds.

NancyP

L.Jackson said...

The first 20 years of life, I spent smelling the hobs of AB, heard the tugboats, and trains, all of St.Louie. To this day, I can't smell a beer without being flooded w/memories. Oh no, AB can NOT leave, changed, or taken over!! Fight for it ppl it puts ST.L on the map!

Shark-fu said...

johlufc...
Where to start?

I think I made it pretty clear that I don't give a shit about the positives of this deal because the negatives outweigh them.

Stock holders getting a $10 return and A-B being forced to tighten up their game just doesn't hold a candle to the job losses sure to come and the potential loss of a community anchor.

This is about a hell of a lot more than the taste of beer but hey, if that's all you're worried about...

Hypatia...
Oh I'm sure these folks are as trifling as most company folks are and full of drama too.

Angry African said...

I say sell. Pretty crap beer and it can only improve the taste. Not that Stella is that much better. Known as the "bottle of family problems in England".

But I am South African. We already bought Millers. Maybe you should sell A-B to us Africans. We know how to celebrate the uniqueness of beers. And might even improve on the taste.

IseultTheIdle said...

The company I work for was bought by a Dutch consortium. We had misgivings, and some people quit rather than face the uncertainty.

The upshot, after a period of adjustment, is that it's been a great change. For one thing, Euros believe in a LOT more paid vacation than we 'Mericans do.

But good luck with the fight.

Rileysdtr said...

FYI to Woodsba, A-B is not American owned. It is a publicly traded company owned by its shareholders, e.g., anyone who has access to purchase stock on the NYSE exchange. By the same access, I own (very tiny pieces of) a Mexican Cement company, a Chinese Utility, and a Dutch materials conglomerate.

Speaking as an A-B shareholder, I am of two minds. BUD shares have been flatlined for years; the company has not fulfilled its fiduciary duties to shareholders... Inbev has a history of lean process evaluations that drive profits and therefore stock value. Whee-hee - come on down!

HOWEVER A-B is a strong company with solid fundamentals, a reasonable dividend, and an unsurpassed brand value. Over the long term BUD as a standalone company (and stock) will do just fine; if I didn't believe that, I would have sold my little piece of the bottle when the buyout was first tendered and the stock jumped. Whoa - stay put!

I am, however, concerned with long-term job stability. A-B IS St. Louis, and if InBev succeeds in its takeover, the BUD name will remain as a shadow of its former self. Look at what Daimler did to Chrysler...

Anonymous said...

I just bought 5 shares. My broker told me I'm buying it at a high price and blah-blah commission ... but he agreed to the trade in the interest of social change and militant activism ... and getting back to his golf game. I love this town!

C-Money

Rileysdtr said...

Sister C-Money, screw the broker. Sharebuilder.com sets you up with direct-control trades at $4 per trade. No, for real - go check it out. You can drive your fee load wwwayyyy down that way. Little Sister ABB has my e-mail address if you want to ask any questions offline....

roslynholcomb said...

Stella Artois pretty much blows, which is surprising considering how much I love other Belgian brews. So I'm with you on this. However, if Guinness comes calling, you're on your own.

Budweiser tastes like absolute crap, maybe this scare will make them come up with a better tasting brew. It's totally embarrassing.

Nicole said...

So I'm sure you saw the bad new this morning....all $52 billion dollars worth. I never did like bud light anyway....

Terrible said...

A-B is also one of the countries largest donors to the GOP.

Even if the stuff they bottle and sell were drinkable I'd stay away from it just because of that.

Years ago I did drink lots of it but about 10-12 years ago it started giving me severe headaches. I don't know what they changed but whatever it was wasn't good for humans I'm sure.