As you may already know a certain Belgian brewing giant named InBev wants to buy Anheuser-Busch. They made a stock offer, were formally rebuffed by CEO August Bush IV (known here as The Fourth) and are now attempting to go around the board to romance share holders into taking the deal and kicking the board to the curb.
They want A-B bad…acquiring A-B is like a fever in their blood…they lust for it, for the love of all that’s not going to be taken over through hostile means!
A-B is headquartered in St. Louis…this bitch’s home town. Not only is A-B a huge part of our local identity (note that even this vodka adoring bitch is riled up over the possible ramifications of Belgian ownership of A-B) but they also support a lot of Missouri based non-profits, events and pay-check needing households.
Add to that the fact that the largest export from St. Louis city lately has been jobs (wince), and it should be easy to see why folks here are freaking the hell out.
But the last straw for this bitch was a video posted by InBev on their corporate web site featuring the holiest of holiest A-B symbols… Clydesdales!
Have they no shame?
And who the hell knew they grew them this rambunctious in Belgium?
Note – a bitch holds no ill feelings towards the people of Belgium. My new Belgian chocolate boycott is purely an act of solidarity in this battle to keep A-B where it belongs.
C-Money and this bitch have come up with a plan. We propose that the people of St. Louis all buy shares in A-B.
No, we’re not kidding.
If we’ve got just under 2 million folks living here or ‘bout the area then we can do this…big time!
We need to get Green Bay on this shit!
And when was the last time some Belgian beer company tried step to the Packers with a hostile takeover bid?