Friday, February 29, 2008

TGIF!

Ah, the weekend!

Let’s leap right on in, shall we?

This bitch had a hard time getting up this morning and three cups of yummified coffee (with a healthy dash of organic milk followed by two cubes of sugar, of course) to get my mental engine started.

The morning news came on while a bitch was on cup of coffee number one.

Breaking News, y’all - Prince Harry is in Afghanistan and has been ten weeks!

Mmmhmm.

But a web site broke the news that news sites agreed not to break so now Prince Harry will have to come home.

Pause…consider…continue.

Fuck it, if the whereabouts of Prince Harry is the lead off story in the news then we’re in pretty good….

Hold it…just hold on, now…HOLD!

Flock of bitchitude, we have ourselves a Ricin story.

Play by Play of ABB’s Mental Absorption of the Ricin in a Las Vegas hotel room story…

Stage One
Okay, someone found Ricin in a Las Vegas hotel room.

Stage Two
Oh no!

Someone found Ricin in a Las Vegas hotel room and several people were hospitalized.

Stage Three
What the fuck?

Someone found Ricin in a Las Vegas hotel room, several people are in the hospital, they don’t know where the Ricin came from and Prince Harry’s tour in Afghanistan led the morning news.

***uploading additional information - police said they don't know how many people have stayed in the room recently - upload complete***

Final Realization
This story puts a whole new spin on the difference between hotel room clean and clean.

Blink.

10 comments:

Lorelei said...

what the fuck??

Paula D. said...

I had to peel myself off my sheets this morning also! TGIF for real! I know you right about that ricin story. My mouth dropped open when I read about it.....still boggles me that it isn't a headline story right now????? Go figure

libhom said...

There are some strong monarchist tendencies in the corporate media that blows up a non-story into something of supposed epic significance.

B Pryde said...

Does a bitch know she was in today's (or yesterday's) Chicago Sun-Times? I was on the train and saw your name and squealed!

Lee said...

I think it was one of ABC's news shows that also did undercover work at hotels and found that the cleaning people don't even bother to properly clean the glasses or replace them between guests. Most times, they landed up spritzing some unknown green liquid into it and then wiped it dry with the rag they just cleaned the bathroom with. So beware hotel room glasses!

brian said...

This is a very serious matter, Shark Fu. The alacrity with which our Dept. of Homeland security found those responsible for the Anthrax attacks on congress should be duplicated. Oh wait... they never found the perpetrator(s)! As I recall, a postal worker died as well.And isn't the prime suspect whose pond was drained in a search for evidence suing for damages?
Enough bad news, let's get back to Prince Harry, Brittany and American Idol.

Anonymous said...

My question is, if Prince Harry is in the military and his quadran was sent to Iraq, then why shouldn't he be there as well? I am sick of the rich getting a reprieve. Afterall, Iraq is about perpetuating the status quo, of which he benefits greatly. Therefore, if he signed up he should be there.

andrea said...

TAG! You're it!
http://qw88nb88.wordpress.com/2008/03/02/got-a-booking/

andrea

LittleMsPerfect said...

Oh Sharkfu, if you want to hear horror stories about hotel rooms, just ask...That was one of the many summer jobs that I undertook to fund my college education! Let's just say, I wouldn't recommend making coffee in ANY hotel room. You never know where the rag was before it cleaned that coffee pot - ICK!!!!!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

its all about the loot