Honestly I’m surprised at some of the shit I let slide everyday.
Ummm, let me see - there was the woman I followed out of a store the other day who clutched her handbag and rushed to her car, threw open the door while casting desperate "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!" glances over her shoulder at me then quickly locked it as if she recognized my ass from an episode of America’s Most Wanted...or the many times I’ve been followed through a department store...or had my own personal police escort through certain St. Louis communities.
Oh, I noticed that shit. Hell, its dangerous not to. A bitch could get tased, for the love of all that’s holy! But 35 years of living has taught this bitch to expect ignorant assed shit to happen pretty much on a daily basis. What concerns me is how some folks react to the shit I actually do get fired up about. If I had a dollar for the number of people who passionately defend that woman, the store’s security team or that police escort my ass could finally pay off my student loans.
I’ve had people get Clarence Darrow on shit as if they have surveillance tape showing that my recollection of events is totally wrong and way off base.
Pause…check room for camera-esque things…continue.
In a way the defense is more disturbing than the incident being defended.
There's something in that instinct to try to speak bigotry out of existence, argue sexual harassment from having ever happened or dismiss a homophobic comment in favor of assuming the best of people.
How fascinating it would be to assume the best out of people having never
experienced the worst and how illuminating that assumption, casting a glaring light on how often we don’t validate the shit that doesn’t happen to us.I think a more likely reason for the defense is that the person offering it is actually very disturbed by the thing they are trying to convince a bitch never happened.
Which reminds me of something my Grandmother once said to me, “Girl, are you trying to be the first human to talk a floor clean? Pick up that broom and sweep.”
Blink.
10 comments:
My father used to love telling me that I was reading too much into things when I would get obnoxiously sexist comments from male customers at the family business (a bicycle shop, which you know old men think women can't possibly run).
I think some people try to talk you out of things because they think they would never do that, so why would anyone else. While they probably actually would.
somehow i fall in love with you more every day.
(kicking at broom)
I am with you. It is most annoying when these things happen and more annoying when people try to defend them. It has never been ok to simply assume all Black people are theives and murderers, all Asians are smart and all Natives Americans are feather wearing drunks. The myths do not help us. I say to those who are being stupid. And those perpetuating the stupidty(this includes the media)
EVOLVE!!!
You know! Next time I'm in the white neighborhood, I'd like to get all freaked out by the white guy in the car next to me and excitedly lock my doors, just so he sees me. It's amazing the stuff that happens to me when I'm alone and also the stuff that doesn't happen to my Hungarian-American husband. He notices it sometimes more than me.
The other day during a conversation w/older white man, he
stated that it was Northern Whites
going down south that caused all the riots. I told him 'yes, I was there & yes, I am from St. Louis.
That we were there to back-up the
people, to lend strength in a fight
that might have lead to more radical things, ie, lynching for standing up for rights. Is that ignorance, u bet! Just another example that racism is still alive & well...big sigh.
I believe you, Shark-fu. I've been watching re-runs of the Amazing Race, and I have noticed at least three instances of a black team having trouble getting cooperation from the "locals" that other teams did not have. Trying to get a cab. Trying to maybe squeeze onto a plane that is about to leave. And even just trying to get directions to local attractions. Now, I'm not saying that ALL of those incidents were definitely because of the color of their skin. But I'm sure some of it had to be.
This post was perfect! Here - go to this link, print it out, and hand it to the next person who tries to talk you out of what you know to be true:
White Privilege
I can relate to you and the stupid people who try to argue with you. I got schooled on some of these racial issues as a kid, so I don't argue those anymore. But when my gf, who presents very dyke-y, told me that she would be treated ugly by the women in the restroom, I told her she was projecting. Then when we went to a football game together, I saw it for myself. The people next to us in the stands wouldn't talk to or look at her, the older women in the bathroom stared at her, and younger women made comments to one another about her, and the whole day was marred by that experience. I was aghast; due to my privilege as an unidentifiable lesbian, I had never been treated that way and didn't know it really happened like that. I have since seen it many times over the years we have been together... and I don't argue anymore. And I have tried to re-learn that shit often and be a better listener (and fighter) regarding others' experiences of ongoing discrimination.
Said white woman is clutching the wrong item - she needed to clutch her hands (for the Mighty Ruler of Correction) or her booty (ditto - as per your most excellent stock picture) - mostly because her parents didn't apply same in her formative years, else she'd have more manners and sense.
NancyP
LOL! Melody, I think you should do exactly that the next time you're in a white neighborhood.
Nonie--I have that link bookmarked on my work and home browsers. It's the best pill I've found for curing my white women's disease.
Shark-Fu: I LOVE your blog. My fellow white people need to learn what I have: shut our white asses up and listen when brown folk are telling us about racism. I love my white peoples, but I have to put some of them on blast for their ignorance. (strict definition of the word, BTW)
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