Last night, while this bitch wielded the Merciless Rod of Correction upon Dog the Bounty Hunter’s ass, I pondered the rise in public displays of racism.
Oh, is this your first dream-based correction post?
A bitch’s dream-based explorations are accounts of my dreams and in no way reflect shit that this bitch has actually done…and they may or may not involve the beating of someone’s ass, but a dream is but a dream and a dream-based ass whooping is a very good thing.
So I was working up a sweat on Dog’s ass and looking pretty damn fine in my Mistress of Bitchitude leather diva suit and Bitch of the Damned tiara, if I may say so myself.
After several minutes of correction, this bitch paused for a sip of vodka followed by cran.
“Mistress, how long will you keep me here?” Dog sobbed as snot flowed from his sun burnt snout down into his unfortunate hair.
A bitch sighed.
“Let’s see…ummm, how about one hour for each time you used the N-Word for a total of six hours and…hmmmm, oh we’ll add another day for chastising your son for dating a black woman because y’all use the N-Word soooooo motherfucking much that she’d be bound the hear it and may tell the press.”
Glen Beck, who is a certified asshole and was over in the corner massaging the feet of anti-War protesters as instructed by this bitch, jumped in with… “But I didn’t do anything! I don’t understand why I’m…ouch!!!...oh, Jesus!”
“I don’t understand why you are either, son." a bitch replied after a quick whack to the back of his head... "But now…finally…your life has meaning. RUB, MOTHERFUCKER…RUUUUUUUUUB!”
Ahhh, the joy of dream-based correction.
Needless to say, a bitch woke up rested and refreshed (wink)…and ready to tackle some shit.
A certain Ashley Frantz of CNN.com has raised the question of whether the rash of noose-based incidents around the country is evidence of racism or just some insulting jokes.
Now, walk with me on this…because I think Dog’s verbal malfunction and Ashley’s question are connected.
Dog is on tape saying that he doesn’t have a problem with his son’s girlfriend being black…which is good, because it’s not like she can change that shit to please his stupid ass…but he was concerned that she may out his adoration of the N-Word. Once I recovered from the sharp pain that fucked up logic inspired in my Afro…wince…I realized that this was yet another example of someone confusing speaking with being.
If I had a dollar for every time someone said “I’m not a racist, but…” before saying something racist a bitch could retire.
You can’t speak not being a racist into reality and saying you don’t have a problem with race does not mask your problem with race when you then proceed to articulate the very big problem you have with race.
This brings me to Ashley’s article and the infection beneath the scab that covers the unhealed wound of race in America.
Most Americans get the covert stuff…the cowards in white sheets burning churches and lynching people. But too many people struggle with the other shit…the so-called “youthful pranksters” dressing up in black face at a frat party who behave like the reincarnation of Al Jolson or the following of a black woman around a department store by security while some fresh faced white tween robs the place blind.
The fact is that nooses can only mean one thing…they only represent one thing…and we do ourselves a disservice when we brush their appearance off as “in poor taste” rather than acknowledge that the noose calls down the demon of this country’s racist history into the present and that an exorcism is now required.
Nooses never have been, never are and never will be a prank…any more than a black person swinging from a tree ever was or is cause for a picnic.
And calling a woman the N-Word six times in a rant about how she may expose your frequent use of the N-Word is the verbal equivalent of taking out a I’M A FUCKING RACIST ad on the A&E television web site.
These noose incidents and the exposure of other celebrity bigotry point to the failure of the school of tolerance. People tolerate a stench and while they may tolerate it they never stop thinking that it stinks to high heaven.
Well the reality is that racism is the stench we’ve been tolerating while we’ve been pretending to “tolerate” the differences between us that we really can’t fucking stand, don’t respect and actively resent.
Time to stop burning scented candles and get our cleanse on…