Monday, June 04, 2007

Weekend review...

Whew, this bitch had a busier that hell weekend.

The month of June is insane!

Thank you to everyone who expressed concern over my technical drama. No, Miss SisterGirl MacBook is not illish again (thank Gawd)! But the internets lost their motherfucking mind last week, thus this bitch had to do a little technical correction (wink).

As a matter of fact everything lost its motherfucking mind Friday so this bitch had to shake the dust off of the merciless rod of correction and re-establish my authority!

Lawd, why can’t people just act right?

Blink.

Mayhap they enjoy to merciless rod of correction?

Freaks (wink).

Anyhoo, bitchitude once again triumphed over bullshit…and the willful internets…and all is well with my technological world again.

Moving forward…

This bitch got a lot of lawn work done this weekend. I woke up Saturday and was beyond hung over from a night of debauch at AMP.

What?

Shit, it was AMP’s official grand opening spectacular! A bitch had to have a vodka cran…or two…or three…cough…to celebrate.

So, my ass woke up hung over as hell. After a breakfast of yummified cheesy eggs, toast with butter and jam and potato fried with onion (yum!)…oh, and several Excedrin…C-Money and this bitch tackled the yard work.

Let me tell y’all, yard work after a stressful week can be very satisfying! C-Money particularly enjoyed murdering all manner of weeds with her vengeful weed whacker and multitude of poisons.

Post yard work, a bitch settled on the couch and ate more Excedrin. Something told me to click on CNN to see what the fuck was what and…gasp…something was afoot in New York!

Tony I’m confused over easily understood shit, excited about predictable and boring shit and alarmed over completely un-alarming shit Harris was breaking some breaking news…hard. An apparent plot to attack JFK was foiled…and the story was leaking out slow as cold honey…but that didn’t stop Tony Harris from jumping on my journalistic nerves and doing a bloody jig.

Who the hell is this man?

Why does he sound like a morning radio person?

Hold up and allow me to back up.

Tony Harris has been working this bitch’s nerves since he took over the 8 o’clock weekday slot. A bitch used to watch CNN whilst fluffing my afro ‘bout that time…but then came Harris with his overacting child star exuberant vocalizations followed by some of the dumbest questions ever asked by a grown man on television.

Shit.

Harris made CNN even more unwatchable.

Ugh!

Fastforward to Saturday and there he was breaking the JFK terror plot story. He did the new CNN FOX in drag thang…forgetting to use words like alleged, neglecting to point out fact from speculation and then going on several “these people” absolute statement rants for spice.

But when he actually paused…Lawd, give me strength…to say that he needed to be mindful of Journalism 101…mercy…and then inserted the word alleged into a sentence regarding the charges as if accuracy were a motherfucking joke and Journalism 101 was the punch line…ugh…well that’s when this bitch had go.

Murrow he aint (shudder).

On a different CNN-based note, Wolfie B. moderated the sorta-debate amongst Democrats yesterday!

Blink.

The set change mid debate was…well, interesting. But this bitch isn’t fond of sound-bites lacking in substance and the format didn't allow for a lot of substance to get through.

Oh, and all those raise your hand if you blah, blah followed by blah nonsense was bizarre.

Wolfie B, you need to call a bitch and run dumb assed shit like that by me before going on air!

A bitch suspects multiple meetings over set contingencies and camera angles left too little time for question-based review.

Wince.

At least the hand raising bullshit gave the candidates something to agree on…

3 comments:

Maya's Granny said...

The world would be a better place if a number of people would call you ahead of time and get their acts together. Wolfie would be a good start. Just think -- you could charge and perhaps grow rich.

Anonymous said...

if you think tony harris is bad, then please *don't* check out kiran chetry on cnn's american morning. yech.

chicating said...

Try "Countdown With Keith Olbermann" ABB. It's my favorite news show. Smart, outraged and funny sometimes.