Monday, February 06, 2006

Keep the lie alive...


This bitch is feeling the pain of overindulgence! My ass prepared a fantabulous queso with Rotel and spicy sausage incorporated, which a bitch then inhaled as if it were my last supper. Oh, the joy! Of course, multiple vodka crans were also consumed. Don’t you just adore Super Bowl munchables?

Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers…a bitch is pretty sure they won the game. Lawd, a bitch could almost hear my cousin Derek screaming all the way from D.C.!

And on to the advertising

It seems that the advertising community is still recovering from the indecency backlash. On a whole, the ads were tame.

Anheuser Busch didn’t disappoint a bitch. My favorite ad was the 'we’re going to hit your emotional core or you’re not human' wee horse drawing the beer cart with the assistance of elder horses from the rear ad. Very cute...C-Money was driven to tears!





Career Builder hit home runs with their 'I work with a bunch of monkeys' spots…oh, and jack asses too! Very funny and an appropriate use of primates too (wink).





A bitch continues to be disturbed by that Burger King man. Something about his plastic face freaks a bitch out! The revival of the cheesy dance spectacular failed to stir a bitch or inspire yummy burger cravings…and, yes, a bitch found the layering of humans dressed like burger ingredients unappetizing. Mayhap they should investigate a jingle?




Dove ran a fantabulous ad that tied in with their real women focused advertising. A bitch thought the spot was emotional enough to cut through the beer clutter but not so emotional that it killed the joy. Great job...great campaign...a bitch isn't fond of the soap, but my ass will support the effort to promote self esteem in young women!




The ABB Killer of Joy Award goes to the Athletes4 Jesus ad. Was that Kurt Warner? And thanks for bringing up my eventual death during an evening of sin and greedy overindulgence! Is it too much to ask for a faith-based ad exploring the positive benefits of Gawd? Must the brand message be about eternal hellfire and damnation? Shit, the tag could have read Get Saved or You're Toast!

Jesus!

Ooops…

Lawd!

Oh shit…

Fuck it! Joy was killed...well, for 5 minutes at least and then a bitch went for more Queso.

Sigh.

Sadly, the only flesh bared during the telecast was Mick Jagger’s 295 year old tummy. Since ABC was compelled to censor rather non-controvresial Stone's lyrics, a bitch can't even anticipate the compeltely over the top Focus on the Family response of over the top sanctified outrage today. And what's a Super Bowl experience without Dr. James Dobson and his minions acting a fool?

Shit...a bitch will have to fill the void.

Dear FCC...this bitch found Mick's stomach disturbing and totally inappropriate for family viewing! Lawd, my sorta-beagle Betsey was passed out on the couch and might have seen it! This semi-nakedness during family time must cease...
Signed...ABB c/o Focus on the Debauchery

5 comments:

EB said...

Overall, I was quite disappointed with the entire shebang.

But at least I wasn't offended!

One thing that really bothered me was during the Stones performance when the camera kept cutting to the audience... and you saw these 16, 17, 18-year-old Abercrombie girls shrieking like they were watching Ryan Cabrera. I don't know why, but it just seemed wrong.

Hammer said...

ABB, I was fucking pissed that the Super Bowl kept cutting into my Grey's Anatomy time. And the US cellular assholes afterwards...fuck them.

Regarding my boyfriend Mick. I went to see him last weekend here in STL. They are HOT in person. Now, don't get me wrong...physically, the look tired. But, they work their asses off to entertain and have fun doing it. That's more than I can say for some of these new musical bitches...Brittney and the like. Cunts!

Anyway, I think Mick is hot. I just wish I was older. We could take our viagra and vioxx together and have wonderful times...aaaaaah. A boy can dream!


Peace chica!

Hammer

CRT Law Mama said...

I will refrain from commenting on Mick, because my stomach is still queasy.... Anywho, ABB been waiting all weekend for your commentary. Thanks.. By the way, changed my name from

Law_Mom
to
CRT Law Mama
needed something that fit my identity more.. I probably should drop the law altogether and throw a bitch in there, but I try to keep in clean (gotta be the new mom in me, cuz it just aint me).

As for the Dove commercial, yeah, this bitch (oops, read: Mama) had a tear or two as well over the self-esteem promotion spot. But that's about all I saw- dare I say that TNT had a Charmed marathon on and since Ive missed the last two seasons, I had fun catching up on a few missed episdoes... Hey even the radical have to have a brain-less outlet- that's one of mine.

If you think that's scary, I wont tell you what I used to watch, but it rhymes with Fluffy the Vampire Player. ;-)

Truly dont care if this changes opinions about me- I'd hate to see what the rest of the world is watching

(Oh and thanks sis for the update on New Bedford. I hadn't even heard he was found, let alone dead. But I am still reeling from the fact that a woman was murdered in Detroit, but you didn't hear anything about it b/c of the Superbowl. As a matter of fact, got the details from outside newspapers b/c I couldn't find anything locally)

in solidarity, struggle, and peace-

BarefootCajun said...

My personal favorite was the FedEx caveman commercial. :-)

We here in Louisiana were spared the ad for Jesus thankfully. I think I would have thrown something at the screen.

Anonymous said...

Girl I am SO glad that a bitch is acquainted with the delights of Rotel and spicy sausage, and I do so hope that your queso was made with a cheese food product whose brand name begins with a V. 'Cause it's just the best there is for food like this. We call anything based on the V product "white trash traila food," but good junky food knows no racial boundaries, I guess.

Chuck from Louisiana