Tuesday, February 28, 2006
A bitch reads it for the articles...
Okay, so a bitch finally received my naked ass Vanity Fair. Honest…there are naked women on the cover…naked Hollywood actors…oh, and a fully clothed Tom Ford.
A bitch was already prepared for this shit, having received one too many visits to this blog from Google surfing people trying to get a look at naked women on the cover of Vanity Fair. Somehow, a bitch posted about Vanity Fair and a certain Hollywood actor and Google did its thang…oh, fuck it. No, there are no naked Vanity Fair pictures here!
Anyhoo…a bitch was disturbed.
Tom Ford is fully clothed, which is noteworthy because a bitch thought he was all about being naked these days (wink). And the women are naked. Apparently, this was Mr. Ford’s vision of Hollywood…and a certain Graydon Carter of the Vanity Fair editing Graydon Carters was all for handing over this shit to Tom Ford…even the decision to keep a certain ass crack in, which Tom Ford specifically requested via yellow post-it.
Oh, Graydon! Shame on you.
A bitch was most disturbed by the fierce odor coming out of my Vanity Fair. Since it was wrapped in plastic when it finally made it to my door, a bitch was pretty sure it hadn’t been opened. Yet, it smelled like someone had mixed White Shoulders and Opium in one bottle then tossed in some ripe ass to spice it up. Lawd, it made my eyes water. One of those perfume advertisers lost their motherfucking mind! It’s bad enough to leak scent within my magazine, but to leak nastified scent is going too far.
Anyway, the thing about these pictures is that a bitch can’t understand what the fuck they have to do with Hollywood, acting or the work these women did this past year. Oh, and why is Tom Ford in there trying to get in where he fits in? Get naked if you want to, ladies...whatever…but someone in the room should have questioned the relevance of this move.
Long ago, these type of career decisions involved a shady manager, several bottles of 'dolls' and martinis...lots of martinis.
Or did y’all simply fold to Tom Ford’s will like Graydon dearest did?
A bitch could have lived a lifetime without dipping into Tom Ford’s fantasies. They were at once so very 'dirty old man' and yet so typically Victorian. Did someone read Fanny Hill recently, darling?
And Graydon? Talk about expanding readership! Hef better watch his back (wink)…