Thursday, September 22, 2005

A retail virgin no more...and Tired of your shit Part 2...

A bitch would like to thank everyone for all the nice comments about my new logo! Special adoration goes out to the fantabulous This Guy of This Guy's World…honey, you are my Cafe Press stores first order…you busted a girl’s retail cherry…wonders never cease! Love ya like cold fried chicken at 3 o'clock in the morning!

Last night my ass watched CNN and Paula Zahn (not close, because she is an undercover neo-con at CNN and they should just give Anderson Cooper that extra fucking hour and tell her pruned up wanna-be Diane Sawyer ass to step). Paula was imploding because there was a possible tornado in Minneapolis, a Jet Blue plane about the make an emergency landing at LAX and Hurricane Rita about to whoop ass in the Gulf. Oh my! Jesus, it must be the end of days!

Paula lost her chili for an hour then handed all that drama off to Larry King, who spent his hour being an old man. A bitch loves him, but he can be...well...elderly at times...

“What’s going on? Has the plane landed? Is it landing? Hello?”

It was cute and strangely soothing. Anyway, the plane landed, the tornado did what tornados do and Hurricane Rita is doing what hurricanes do.

Ahh, the joy of breaking news on CNN…24 hours of freaking the fuck out on live television! A bitch went to bed knowing that the nation’s shitstorms were being covered by the diligent anchors of CNN…which is, in case you’ve missed their new marketing blitz, essential.

2 cups coffee with Splenda and 1% organic milk, 1 Claritin, 2 pseudo-Sudafed and cigs…

A bitch is still tired of people's shit…

My ass published the first tired of your shit rant early in this blog’s life. Aint a damned thing changed but the date.

To the evil heifers who don’t want this bitch to move on…
Motherfuckers, a bitch has kicked your tired ass cat-fight loving, micro managing, dictatorial, playa-hating, prissy suit wearing, afraid of a bitch’s afro, embarrassment to women’s organizations asses to the curb. Stay where a bitch kicked you to! Cease sending this bitch e-mails spouting off about how much you will miss me and how sorry you are to see my leadership skills having ass go.

I do not give a fuck! Once more time with feeling…I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK!

Y’all should have thought about my leadership skills when you were pissing me off.

Did you think a bitch was playing? Well, that’s just another example of your inability to grasp reality.

Instead of e-mailing and calling this bitch you might want to do some inner work…examine the asshole within and, as Michael Jackson said, make that change. Good luck with that.

To the Democrats who plan to vote for Roberts…
My Grandfather, who was in the Navy during WWII, told this bitch that his fellow navy sailors often encouraged each other to remember Pearl Harbor. For example, when considering whether to dock all of the nation’s ships in one port you may want to remember Pearl Harbor and proceed not to do that dumb assed shit…again.

A bitch would like to encourage the current Democrats in office to remember Operation Iraqi Freedom. Or should that be remembering the fuckers who voted to give Scooter the power to take our asses to war…against terror? No, no, no…it would be remember John Kerry! Yes!

A bitch would like Democrats to remember John Kerry and the 2004 year long Republican feeding frenzy on the carcass of the votes of John Kerry's past. Specifically, John’s Iraq War/War on Terror/I thought it was symbolic/My ass believed in the flawed intelligence votes.

If Republicans have enough votes to confirm Roberts as Chief Justice then let them. If you personally think Roberts is the right man for the job, then go with Gawd and vote to confirm him.

But if your ass is just doing this to build the bridge of bipartisanism…check yourself before you wreck yourself!

The same tired assed, red eyed, baby eating, puppy kicking, devil worshiping Republican who kicked John Kerry in the face in 2004 will be shooting for your toes in 2006 chanting shit like Flip Flop and Indecisive. Learn from that shit, for the love of all that is holy!

And finally…

To the media regarding Hurricane Rita and FEMA…
Since you have all been asking the question for the last 24 hours and it looks like the nation is going to have to suffer you asking it for another 72 hours, this bitch would like to answer it for your asses.

No, FEMA is not prepared to handle a category 5 hurricane post Katrina debacle. No organization can go from rancid to sirloin in a week. That, my friends, is a stupid fucking question!

Why not ask if FEMA is prepared to outsource the shit they cannot do right? Why not ask what ordinary citizens can proactively prepare to do because FEMA will not take care of it? How about a quizzical on the multitude of things FEMA will likely fail to do…a list, with bullet points, of things state and local governments might as well take on rather than waiting for FEMA to go fetal and start sucking its thumb?

Hmmm…why not go there? It’s not as if you haven’t been feeding off of the ass of FEMA for two weeks. You know what they are capable of and are not capable of.

Keep it real, fuckers…

…because you can bet your ass Hurricane Rita will.

8 comments:

AOB said...

This AOB just can't get with Roberts.He says all the right shit, looks (?) like the right shit but there is some kind of unknown, unseen devilish shit about that man. And it ain't nothing to do with the choice issue either......

CrankyProf said...

Shit.

They're all politicians at heart. And all politicians -- no matter how honest, forthright and "on your side" they appear to be -- are whores. You have to sell a good portion of your soul to get far in politics, and once you've hit the big leagues, you have no soul left.

I just wonder what favors are being traded here.

Annapolis Cares said...

How come the first two words that pop in to my benumbed little brain every time I read your latest post is "RIGHT ON!"? Sheesh, is that punctuation correct?

Annapolis Cares said...

Oops...that annapolis cares post is from me (thatfarmgirl)

disgruntled said...

I can't get enough of the ANGRY BLACK BITCH!

I'm just keeping it real!

Michele in Michigan said...

You are SO on target! Have I told you lately that I fucking LOVE you??

Shawn said...

"If Republicans have enough votes to confirm Roberts as Chief Justice then let them. If you personally think Roberts is the right man for the job, then go with Gawd and vote to confirm him.

But if your ass is just doing this to build the bridge of bipartisanism…check yourself before you wreck yourself!"

So very true. Stop playing nice with the Republicans like they're going to remember your good deeds later on. Vote according to your personal beliefs for a change.

Krisco said...

Shark-fu,
You are highly entertaining. I don't even know what else to say.
Other than, although it seems I am late to the party, glad I found you, I'll be back.
Krisco